


Sixteen Candles

by flamingoprince



Category: Original Work
Genre: Best Friends, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Inner Dialogue, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), M/M, Nonsense, Old Friends, Original Character(s), Skype, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:30:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9452321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamingoprince/pseuds/flamingoprince
Summary: They've known each other since they were kids, yet somehow they keep getting more immature.The life and times of 5 friends and their shenanigans.(ft. skype group chats, inner monologuing, and completely ridiculous situations)





	1. THE RANGER SUPPORT GROUP (8/15 | 2:56 AM)

**Author's Note:**

> so basically this entire thing is the result of my insomnia one night and i came up with these guys trying to find something to do since i couldn't sleep
> 
> i'm actually in love with them and this is really fun to write  
> while i doubt that a LOT of people are gonna read this, this is also just a really fun thing with a bunch of dorks talking to each other  
> this whole thing is just gonna be a fun little ride so if you DO read it, i hope you enjoy it!
> 
> (ps tell ur friends lmao)  
> (pps talk to me on tumblr @pinkpectorals)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> current skype names:  
> \- Ranger: Lone Hanger  
> \- Roger: hellspeed  
> \- Nanette: Nanette  
> \- Tucker: gremlins sucks 689  
> \- Vanilla: VaniVee

**THE RANGER SUPPORT GROUP**

_Saturday, August 15, 2:56 AM_

 

 **Lone Hanger:**  I seriously can't believe you changed the name of the group chat to this

 **gremlins sucks 689:** isnt that wat dis is tho

 **Lone Hanger:** ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Nanette:** So. What happened?

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ye tell us

 **Lone Hanger:** no

 **Lone Hanger:** i will not sacrifice my dignity for this

 **Lone Hanger:** you cannot make me

 **Nanette:** I know where you live.

 **Lone Hanger:** you can't prove that

 **Nanette:** Keep fucking around. I'll show up at your house at 3 o'clock in the fucking morning. Don't test me.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ru evr gonna tell me where u live or

 **Lone Hanger:** fuck no

 **Lone Hanger:** anyone who says gremlins sucks can stay the hell out of my establishment

 **gremlins sucks 689:** meanie :(((

 **Nanette:** You aren't even in the country.

 **Nanette:** Why would you need to know his address?

 **gremlins sucks 689:** so i can send presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!

 **Nanette:** Your idea of a present is sending your socks and dirty underwear in the post.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** **mail

 **Lone Hanger:** **shut your hell mouth

 **Nanette:** What  **happened** Ranger?

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ye srsly u seemed rly upset earlyer

 **Lone Hanger:** turn on spellcheck you dingus

 **Lone Hanger:**...

 **Lone Hanger:** you guys are seriously gonna make me tell you?

 **Nanette:** If you don't, I'm going to drive to your house.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** im gonna stalk u on google mapps

 **hellspeed:** Just tell us so everyone shuts up. I have work tomorrow

 **Nanette:** Turn your phone on silent

 **hellspeed:** can't. Work.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** then stop work

 **hellspeed:** I can't just stop work

 **gremlins sucks 689:** u could

 **gremlins sucks 689:** gimme ur job

 **hellspeed:** no

 **Lone Hanger:** FINEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **Lone Hanger:** i fucked up at work today

 **Lone Hanger:** happy?

 **hellspeed:** did you seriously wake me up for this. I'm going to bed

 **Nanette:** How badly did you fuck up? Did you drop a bottle on someone's head?

 **hellspeed:** mix a drink wrong?

 **gremlins sucks 689:** assist?

 **hellspeed:** what the fuck does assist mean

 **gremlins sucks 689:** he knows what i mean

 **Lone Hanger:** i would never fcking assist what the fuck is wrong with you????????????

 **gremlins sucks 689:** i was jus askin

 **hellspeed:** wtf

 **Nanette:** So then what DID you do?

 **Lone Hanger:**...

 **Lone Hanger:** i'd say promise not to laugh but i know you will

 **Lone Hanger:** i hit on a customer tonight

 **gremlins sucks 689:** oooooooooooooo

 **gremlins sucks 689:** get that new booty

 **hellspeed:** ohoho

 **hellspeed:** suddenly I'm interested

 **Lone Hanger:** shut up

 **Lone Hanger:** listen ok. what had happened was

 **Nanette:** Here we go.

 **Lone Hanger:** what had happened was it was a slow night

 **hellspeed:** really? Craftons? Slow?

 **gremlins sucks 689:** da fuk

 **Lone Hanger:** and the bar was fucking boring as fuck

 **Lone Hanger:** so i was. yknow. chillin. musing. minding my damn business.

 **Lone Hanger:** there's only so many times i can wipe the bar to appear busy for fucks sake!

 **Lone Hanger:** anyway. then  **he** walked in

 **Nanette:** It's been awhile since you last sought after some dick.

 **hellspeed:** I seriously forget how vile you are sometimes

 **Nanette:** I have a healthy repertoire of teenage boy talk up my sleeve after dealing with you assholes for sixteen years.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** dam im hurt nanny :(((

 **gremlins sucks 689:** i thot u loved us :((((((((((

 **Nanette:** Call me that again and I'll shove Roger's fist up your ass.

 **hellspeed:** why mine?????????????????

 **Nanette:** Well it's not gonna be mine.

 **Lone Hanger:** oeufwdjlsbofugrb

 **Lone Hanger:** do you wanna hear the story or not?????????

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ye

 **hellspeed:** we do

 **Nanette:** Sorry.

 **Lone Hanger:** ANYWAY. he walks in. looking. fucking hell he was fine as all get out.

 **Lone Hanger:** like yes daddy

 **Lone Hanger:** bend me over that table

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ROFLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 **Nanette:** I do not want to imagine that.

 **hellspeed:** we all know ranger's a dirty skank why are we at all surprised

 **Lone Hanger:** i resent that remark

 **hellspeed:** I'm sure you do

 **Lone Hanger:** so yknow. he sits down. asks for a drink. i mix it up - put on a little show. he's impressed and i'm feeling good about myself. we start chattin and i'm trying not to reveal my thirst™

 **Nanette:** So basically you were failing miserably.

 **Lone Hanger:** was not

 **hellspeed:** I had a headache a few hours ago. I assume it was from your attempts at subtlety. 

 **Lone Hanger:** suck a fat one

 **gremlins sucks 689:** lolololol

 **Lone Hanger:** AND HE WAS!!!!!! FLIRTING BACK WITH ME!!!!!!!!

 **Lone Hanger:** he said my nose ring was cute guys

 **Lone Hanger:** he asked what handsome guys like me got up to on the weekends

 **Lone Hanger:** he laughed!!!!!!! At all of my puns!!!!!!!!!

 **hellspeed:** God he's a keeper

 **gremlins sucks 689:** how could u fuk this up?????

 **Lone Hanger:** in the middle of one of my jokes and pouring him another gin on the rocks

 **Lone Hanger:** my fucking

 **Lone Hanger:** my fucking boss walks out

 **hellspeed:** Christ

 **gremlins sucks 689:** the one with the stick shoved so far up his arse that ur sure the father son and holy spirit can see it?????

 **Lone Hanger:** FFFFFF YES

 **Lone Hanger:** HE WALKS OUT AND PUTS HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER RIGHT

 **Lone Hanger:** AND IM LIKE. WHAT THE DUCE. CANT YOU SEE IM TRYING TO GET LAID HERE?????

 **Lone Hanger:** AND THEN HE GOES

 **Lone Hanger:** "I see you two have met already."

 **Nanette:**????

 **hellspeed:** he's a customer why would you need to meet him already

 **hellspeed:** what

 **Lone Hanger:** FFFFFF

 **Lone Hanger:** so obvs I'm confused as fuck so I go "huh?" Real stupid like. And he just laughs (he fucking laughed man it was so WEIRD) and was like "This is the CEO of Craftons Enterprises."

 **Lone Hanger:** G U Y S

 **Lone Hanger:** I WAS FLIRTING WITH THE CEO OF MY JOB

 **Lone Hanger:** THE GUY WHO FUCKING OWNS MY ASS 17 TIMES OVER IN A NOT SEXY WAY BUT IN A MORE I CAN AND WILL FIRE YOU WAY

 **Lone Hanger:** FOR FUCKING THIRTY GODDAMN MINUTES

 **gremlins sucks 689:** sjfnrjwkskfkgkrkelakeejkwwk

 **hellspeed:** HOW DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO YOU

 **Lone Hanger:** I DONT KNOW IM CRYING OK

 **Lone Hanger:** IM GODDAMN TRAUMATIZED

 **Nanette:** I'm stunned.

 **Nanette:** This is an even more impressive fuck up than last time.

 **Lone Hanger:** NAN WE DONT SPEAK OF THAT TIME

 **Lone Hanger:** KEEP IT SECRET

 **Lone Hanger:** KEEP IT SAFE

 **gremlins sucks 689:** wat time???????

 **hellspeed:**??????????

 **Nanette:** Cross my heart.

 **Lone Hanger:** U BETTER HOPE TO KEEL NAN SO HELP ME CHRIST

 **Lone Hanger:** what did I do to deserve this

 **Lone Hanger:** I'm a good man

 **Lone Hanger:** I pay my taxes on time

 **Lone Hanger:** I don't steal

 **Lone Hanger:** I only tried to drown my cat once

 **hellspeed:** you deserve to die

 **hellspeed:** and everything that comes to you

 **hellspeed:** cats are a gift

 **Lone Hanger:** yeah well I was trying to bathe her and she didn't like it

 **Lone Hanger:** not my fault

 **gremlins sucks 689:** so wait wat hppnd after that?????

 **Lone Hanger:** I fckin gaped like a damn fish like

 **Lone Hanger:** "oh. Oh fuck."

 **Lone Hanger:** and he fucking

 **Lone Hanger:** the CEO guy

 **Lone Hanger:** he fucking smirks at me like

 **Lone Hanger:** "oh, must've forgot to mention that, did I?"

 **Lone Hanger:** WITH A FUCKING WINK

 **Lone Hanger:** HE WAS TOTALLY MESSING WITH ME

 **Lone Hanger:** THAT SON OF A BITCH

 **Nanette:** Kill him.

 **hellspeed:** nan he can't just kill him he's his boss's boss's boss's boss?????

 **Nanette:** Kill him.

 **hellspeed:** nan no

 **Nanette:** They can elect a new CEO.

 **hellspeed:** nan why

 **gremlins sucks 689:** idk wats the big deal tho??? I mean clearly he was tryna get some 2

 **gremlins sucks 689:** I mean. Idk y

 **gremlins sucks 689:** but he was

 **Lone Hanger:** HES THE CEO YOU NITWIT

 **Lone Hanger:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW WHATS THE BIG DEAL

 **Lone Hanger:** HES MY OVERLORD

 **Lone Hanger:** YOU DONT FLIRT WITH THE OVERLORD

 **Nanette:** Unless they're you apparently. Or Roger.

 **hellspeed:** that was one time.

 **Lone Hanger:**??????

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ewwww u flirted with the old hag??

 **hellspeed:** OUR DEPARTMENT NEEDED SPONSORS SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **Lone Hanger:** i feel like i missed something entirely

 **hellspeed:** we all have our secrets

 **gremlins sucks 689:** and nanny knos all of them

 **Nanette:** When you get back home I'm shoving Roger's fist up your ass.

 **hellspeed:** WHY ME??????????

 **gremlins sucks 689:** bc Ranger might enjoy it ;*

 **Lone Hanger:** fuck no

 **Lone Hanger:** I'm only attracted to hot men

 **gremlins sucks 689:** MEANIE

 **gremlins sucks 689:** IM AT LEAST A 7

 **Lone Hanger:** i'm only attracted to 11s

 **Lone Hanger:** besides

 **Lone Hanger:** i'd be the one wanting the fist

 **Lone Hanger:** not the other way around

 **hellspeed:** you're such a slut

 **Nanette:** I really didn't want to imagine that.

 **Lone Hanger:** @Roger stop slut shaming me

 **VaniVee:** hey guys!! I'm surprised to see u up so early :)

 **hellspeed:**??

 **hellspeed:** SHIT ITS FIVE AM

 **hellspeed:** I HAVENT SLEPT

 **hellspeed:** I HAVE WORK IN 4 HOURS

 **hellspeed:** SORRY VANI I GOTTA GO

 **VaniVee:** aww I just got here :(

 **gremlins sucks 689:** hey vee!

 **VaniVee:** Hey Tucker :) How have you been? How's England?

 **gremlins sucks 689:** eehhhh it's aight lol

 **gremlins sucks 689:** i miss la

 **gremlins sucks 689:** i miss our awesome weather

 **Lone Hanger:** it doesn't miss you

 **gremlins sucks 689:** rude ass bitch

 **VaniVee:** Oh, Ranger!! I'm sorry to hear about what happened :(( To think it was going so well... He even liked your puns!!

 **Lone Hanger:** ahhhh it's ok Vani i just got my hopes up. i just can't believe he was the CEO

 **Nanette:** Maybe he was doing a surprise check-in and got distracted?

 **Lone Hanger:** omg u think i could distract an 11??? nannnnnnn :'''''')

 **Nanette:** I mean, I guess you're attractive.

 **Nanette:** I'm gay, I wouldn't know.

 **Nanette:** You're probably a 7.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** THEN WHAT AM I

 **Nanette:** 9 for looks. 2 for personality.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ILL TAKE IT

 **Lone Hanger:** WAIT WTF HOW IS HE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ME I CALL BULLSHIT

 **Lone Hanger:** WHAT ABOUT MY PERSONALITY

 **Nanette:** 3.

 **VaniVee:** then what about me Nettie? :)

 **Nanette:** Vani, you're priceless.

 **VaniVee:** aww Nettie :')

 **Lone Hanger:** YOURE JUST BIASED BC VANI'S A GIRL

 **gremlins sucks 689:** YEAH I CALL BS

 **Nanette:** Even if Vani was a boy, he'd still be priceless compared to you lot.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** I mean. U right.

 **gremlins sucks 689:** Vani is 2 precious

 **gremlins sucks 689:** 2 pure

 **VaniVee:** aww u flatter me :')

 **VaniVee:** I actually have to get going you night owls! I just wanted to pop in and see what the fuss was about :) I've got a date with my yoga class! Talk to you later <3

 **Lone Hanger:** bye vee <3

 **Nanette:** <3

 **gremlins sucks 689:** ru still gonna skype me later??

 **VaniVee:** of course! But don't u have to go to bed soon? I don't want u to stay up too late on my account :'(

 **gremlins sucks 689:** nah it's ok!! im super jet lagged anyway lol

 **VaniVee:** okay... If ur sure :'(

 **VaniVee:** I'll talk to u guys later!!

 **Lone Hanger:** ahhhh just talking to vani makes you just feel better about life

 **Nanette:** You're still thinking about how badly you fucked up, aren't you?

 **Lone Hanger:** ... Yes

 **gremlins sucks 689:** well as much as I would love to stay up more I g2g try && sleep

 **gremlins sucks 689:** dnt wanna wrry vani

 **Nanette:** Goodnight, Tucker.

 **Lone Hanger:** night asshole

 **gremlins sucks 689:** meanie :(((

_5:38 AM_

**Lone Hanger:** ughhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Nanette:** Go to sleep for fucks sake.

 **Lone Hanger:** fffff fine

 **Lone Hanger:** you sleep too

 **Nanette:** Mm. I might.

 **Nanette:** Goodnight, Ranger.

 **Lone Hanger:** night nan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> currently i don't know much about these guys but quick notes:
> 
> \- the story takes place in LA. the main 5 have known each other since 5th grade (9-10 years old) so they're all around 25-26 years old.  
> \- nanette is lesbian. she's also jewish (ethnicity wise).  
> \- ranger is bisexual and works as a bartender at a place called Craftons  
> \- vanilla (or vani) is a mtf trans girl. she's also a yogi and a beauty youtuber/instagramer  
> \- roger works a 9 to 5 office job


	2. THE DAY OF RECKONING (8/17 | 8:56 AM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter talks more about vani being trans and there's some asshole guy that says some really transphobic things in the middle so if that bothers you i'm sorry but i'm warning you in advance!!
> 
> current skype names:   
> \- Ranger: Hanger Rick  
> \- Roger: kill me  
> \- Tucker: rangers a meanie  
> \- Nanette: Nanette  
> \- Vanilla: VaniVee

**THE DAY OF RECKONING**

_Monday, August 17, 8:56AM_

 

 **rangers a meanie:** hey

 **rangers a meanie:** hey guys

 **rangers a meanie:** does any1 remember dat 1 guy?

 **Hanger Rick:** what guy

 **Hanger Rick:** also why the hell are you up so early

 **rangers a meanie:** im in england. iz like 1pm here

 **Hanger Rick:** fair enough i guess

 **VaniVee:** Which guy Tuck? :0

 **rangers a meanie:** oh hey vee! :))

 **Hanger Rick:** oh so vani gets a hello and i don't

 **Hanger Rick:** i sense favoritism

 **rangers a meanie:** do u not c my name

 **rangers a meanie:** >P

 **Hanger Rick:** whatever

 **Hanger Rick:** what guy are you talking about tho

 **rangers a meanie:** o yea

 **rangers a meanie:** like u kno. da one from hs

 **kill me:** our school had like 2000 people tuck you gotta be more specific.

 **Hanger Rick:** what is up with your screen name??

 **kill me:** let tuck tell his thing first

 **rangers a meanie:** u kno

 **rangers a meanie:** zachary???

 **VaniVee:** Zachary who? :0

 **rangers a meanie:** uhhhhhhhhh

 **rangers a meanie:** 1 we actuly tlkd 2?

 **Hanger Rick:** use spellcheck dammit

 **Hanger Rick:** like do you mean zachary like zac, zachary like vani’s zachary or like…. **zachary** zachary

 **rangers a meanie: zachary** zachary

 **kill me:** I thought I would never have to hear about that asswipe again.

 **VaniVee:** Agreed… Why do you bring him up? :/

 **rangers a meanie:** i jus saw him

 **Hanger Rick:** what?? in england????

 **rangers a meanie:** yea

 **rangers a meanie:** hes apprntly friends w/ tha guy im supposed 2b filmin a collab w/

 **Hanger Rick:** what?? which guy??

 **rangers a meanie:** i cnt tell u!!!!!

 **rangers a meanie:** itll ruin tha surprise!!!!!!

 **Hanger Rick:** god i hope you use spellcheck when you talk to other people

 **rangers a meanie:** of course :)))))

 **rangers a meanie:** i jus kno it annys u :))

 **VaniVee:** So wait… You like actually saw him???? :00

 **rangers a meanie:** yea

 **rangers a meanie:** wlked in2 tha rm for filmin and saw him settin up da cameraz

 **kill me:** wtf

 **kill me:** why was he there

 **VaniVee:** Anyone who is friends with him must be a terrible person…

 **rangers a meanie:** ye thats what i was thinkin 2??? but he was so nice over da email???

 **VaniVee:** Just because someone is nice at first doesn’t mean that they aren’t terrible on the inside…

 **kill me:** Even though that’s pretty dark for you to say, I kind of have to agree with you Vani

 **rangers a meanie:** i hope not...

 **rangers a meanie:** aa wait g2g

 **rangers a meanie:** filmin

 **rangers a meanie:** brb

 **Hanger Rick:** why the hell is that guy in england tho

 **Hanger Rick:** ugh that just ruined my morning a little bit

 **VaniVee:** Same :(

 **kill me:** My morning was already shit anyway, this isn’t helping any honestly

 **Hanger Rick:** yeah speaking of, what is up with your screen name??

 **kill me:** Got into work and my boss handed me literally 6 reports she wants me to have done by Wednesday

 **Hanger Rick:** holy shit

 **kill me:** i Know lol

 **kill me:** Hence. Kill me.

 **VaniVee:** Are they long reports? :((

 **kill me:** 2 of them are financial reports that are 16 pages each if that gives you any idea of how royally fucked I am right now

 **Hanger Rick:** y i k e s

 **kill me:** Yikes is right

 **kill me:** I gotta get started though. I’ve extended this coffee break for far too long anyway.

 **kill me:** If I die before this is over

 **kill me:** Tell my cat that I love her

 **VaniVee:** How is Mittens by the way? :0 It’s been so long since I’ve seen her! :)

 **kill me:** She’s doing great! You should stop by and see her sometime!

 **VaniVee:** Oh, can I? :DD I would love to! How does this weekend sound?

 **kill me:** Perfect :)

 **Hanger Rick:** i think that’s the first time i’ve ever seen you use an emoji

 **kill me:** Oh come off it.

 **kill me:** …

 **kill me:** You’re invited to come too you know.

 **Hanger Rick:** i’ll bring the booze

 **kill me:** **finger guns** my man

 **Hanger Rick:** lol go work nerd

 **Hanger Rick:** u have to survive the reports if you wanna get any booze this weekend

 **kill me:** ugh

 **VaniVee:** You can do it, Roge! We’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines!

_VaniVee sent an image_

**kill me:** IS THAT AN ULTRA RARE CHEERLEADER VANILLA SELFIE I SEE

 **Hanger Rick:** WE’VE BEEN BLESSED

 **kill me:** I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE STRENGTH OF TEN THOUSAND MEN

 **VaniVee:** Hehe you two are silly :’)

 **VaniVee:** I gotta get going now though!

 **kill me:** Same here. My boss just walked in and she’s giving me the glare of death.

 **Hanger Rick:** ah well. i got more sleep to catch up on anyway

 **Hanger Rick:** talk to you guys later??

 **VaniVee:** Yup! :) Have a good nap Ranger! :)

 **Hanger Rick:** god i will. i can hear my bed serenading me from here

 **Hanger Rick:** “come back to me ranger… come back to meeeee~”

 **kill me:** You’re a weirdo

 **Hanger Rick:** u are too shut up

 **VaniVee:** Boys, play nice! :(

 **kill me:** Of course princess~

 **Hanger Rick:** anything for you~

 **VaniVee:** Hehe bye now <3

 **kill me:** Wish me luck

 **Hanger Rick:** -waves-

 

_11:16AM_

 

 **Nanette:** Seems like I missed something important.

 **rangers a meanie:** like da newz of zachary???

 **Nanette:** No. This Vani cheerleader selfie.

 **rangers a meanie:** lolol same

 **rangers a meanie:** ru jus wakin up??

 **Nanette:** Something like that. I have a day off today. I intend to make the most of it.

 **rangers a meanie:** by sleeping in lol?

 **Nanette:** Of course.

 **rangers a meanie:** ughhhh i envy u. im still @ this guys house

 **Nanette:** Have any… Unsavory things happened?

 **rangers a meanie:** no… i dont think he recognizes me

 **Nanette:** Isn’t that a relief then?

 **rangers a meanie:** idk mayb?? im just super uncomf when were all jus sittin around

 **rangers a meanie:** on edge i guess

 **Nanette:** Well if nothing’s happened, then there’s no use stressing about it.

 **Nanette:** It’s probably better if he doesn’t remember who you are.

 **Nanette:** Or perhaps he’s grown up a little.

 **rangers a meanie:** i think u give him 2 much credit

 **Nanette:** Unfortunately, I have to hope.

 **Nanette:** I don’t have the money to book a plane to England if I need to beat his ass.

 **rangers a meanie:** LOLOLOL U RIGHT

 **rangers a meanie:** well were about 2 start filmin again so i g2g

 **Nanette:** Have fun.

 **rangers a meanie:** ill try!!! 4 my fans!!!

 **Nanette:** For your fans  <3

 **rangers a meanie:** and thnx nanny. u helped calm me down a lot

 **Nanette:** Because you’re being so sweet I’ll elect to ignore that you have once again decided to call me “Nanny.”

 **rangers a meanie:** aww u do care :’))))

 **Nanette:** Go film before I change my mind.

 

_12:01PM_

 

 **rangers a meanie:** so… it happened

 **rangers a meanie:** i don’t know if anyone is around but i can’t really be bothered to try and keep up my “bad grammar” charade and i’m kinda hyperventilating and i need to vent

 **rangers a meanie:** or tell you guys what happened

 **rangers a meanie:** whatever

 **rangers a meanie:** so we finished filming about… 20 minutes after nanette and i finished talking.

 **rangers a meanie:** and as we were all going over the footage together, we were all like - hey this is great, we’re pretty much done everything - thanks so much for filming with me

 **rangers a meanie:** all that good shit

 **rangers a meanie:** so yknow i was packing my shit up to leave and cunt breath offered to walk me to do the door and to my rental and would help me carry shit or whatever

 **rangers a meanie:** and he was like “hey, do i know you from somewhere??” and i was like “yeah we used to go to highschool together” and blah blah blah

 **rangers a meanie:** and he was like “oh no kidding??? tucker hayes right?? the one who always hung out with that shemale lol?”

 **rangers a meanie:** and i just

 **rangers a meanie:** i fucking felt my heart stop and it took a lot of self control to not just punch him in the fucking throat

 **rangers a meanie:** so as calmly as i could manage i was like “you know that’s pretty fucking offensive, right?” like what the fuck is wrong with you are you bloody kidding me??

 **rangers a meanie:** and he was like “oh yeah i remember u and your friends were really defensive about him lol. like he looks like a guy i dunno how you could’ve seen him as a girl or whatever. its all made up shit lol.”

 **rangers a meanie:** and i was like

 **rangers a meanie:** i was like “first of all.”

 **rangers a meanie:** “first of all HER pronouns are SHE and HER so if you’re going to refer to HER then call HER a GIRL.”

 **rangers a meanie:** “SECOND OF ALL it doesn’t matter what she looks like?? if she says she’s a girl then she’s a fucking girl you asswipe its fucking basic human decency. it doesn’t affect you in any way to respect HER and HER pronouns and how she feels about herself so how about you shut the fuck up.”

 **rangers a meanie:** and then this bitch

 **rangers a meanie:** this absolute fucking dick bag

 **rangers a meanie:** he was like

 **rangers a meanie:** “he doesn’t even have a vagina tho??”

 **rangers a meanie:** so i fucking

 **rangers a meanie:** i threw my shit on the ground

 **rangers a meanie:** (i actually broke my tripod rip. it was worth it tho)

 **rangers a meanie:** and i fucking grabbed him by the front of his shirt and lifted him off the ground and i was like “i’m not even going to try and explain to you how shit of a human being you are for saying that because i know you wouldn’t fucking listen. but if i hear you say. One. More. **Word** about my best friend i will fucking break your ribs. are we clear?”

 **rangers a meanie:** freaked him out real good

 **rangers a meanie:** and when i put him down he practically ran back into the house, shouting about how he was gonna make a youtube video about this and blah blah blah

 **rangers a meanie:** and i was like “trust me. for your own sake you may not want to do that. because a lot more people are gonna be on my side than yours.”

 **rangers a meanie:** UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **rangers a meanie:** it just baffles me how people like him can exist like this ISN’T THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND

 **rangers a meanie:** IT DOESN’T AFFECT YOU AT ALL SO WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

 **rangers a meanie:** i’m sorry for ranting but eogufdkbsguor i knew i shouldn’t have thought that he would’ve changed at all. the second i saw him i should’ve walked straight out of the house.

 **rangers a meanie:** anyway. i’m gonna go back to my hotel and nap for 700 hours then drink myself into a coma.

 **rangers a meanie:** peace

 

_5:48 PM_

 

 **Hanger Rick:** damn…

 **Hanger Rick:** you know it’s serious when tuck values talking more than annoying me

 **Nanette:** I don’t have money to buy a plane ticket to England to beat his ass.

 **Nanette:** I should’ve known this would happen.

 **kill me:** Fuck man. I just got home and I’m reading everything

 **kill me:** I’m glad Tuck put him in his place though

 **Hanger Rick:** i’m just worried about how vani’s gonna react when she sees it

 **Hanger Rick:** i remember the last time something like this happened she cried for hourssss

 **kill me:** Yeah… Has anyone heard from her? ://

 **VaniVee:** Don’t worry, I’m here, I’m here

 **Nanette:** Are you alright?

 **VaniVee:** Of course!

 **VaniVee:** I’m a lot stronger than I was back then… If I spent my whole life being hurt by people like that then I wouldn’t be able to be on YouTube hehe :’)

 **VaniVee:** I just… I can’t express how lucky I am to have friends like you all

 **Hanger Rick:** yeah… tuck almost beat his ass back then too didn’t he?

 **Hanger Rick:** seems like that douche bag forgot about that part

 **kill me:** I still wish you woulda let him nan

 **Nanette:** As much as I would’ve loved to let him, we were still on school grounds. There was a lot of administrators present. If I let him, I think Tucker might’ve gotten more than just expelled.

 **Hanger Rick:** pff oh yeah

 **Hanger Rick:** he was off the chain back then wasn’t he?

 **rangers a meanie:** u guyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz talkin bout me?????????

 **kill me:** Tucker are you drunk?

 **rangers a meanie:** myb ;)))

 **Hanger Rick:** ugh bring back the tucker who spelled correctly

 **rangers a meanie:** i thot u lved me no mtta wat i did :((((

 **rangers a meanie:** ur such a meanie rnger :((((

 **Hanger Rick:** AT LEAST SPELL MY FUCKING NAME RIGHT

 **Hanger Rick:** HEATHEN

 **rangers a meanie:** ccccc hez so mean 2 meeeee :((((

 **VaniVee:** Thank you, Tucker

 **rangers a meanie:** huh, 4 what?

 **VaniVee:** For always standing up for me :) You’re a great friend.

 **VaniVee:** Can I call you?

 **rangers a meanie:** yea

 **rangers a meanie:** srry if i slurr

 

~~

 

_Incoming Call: VaniVee_

 

“Hey Tucker!”

“Mm, heyyy Vani!” Vanilla smiled hearing her friend’s voice, though as he mentioned in the chat there was a bit of a noticeable slur in his voice. She laughed a bit to herself hearing it. Even across the ocean she could tell when Tucker frowned. “Whas… Whas so funny?”

“Oh nothing! Just you. You really did drink a lot didn’t you?”

“I didn’t drink that much!”

“How many bottles did you have?”

“... I’unno.”

“See!” Vanilla giggled behind her hand again, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. “Are you back to your hotel safely?”

“Yeah. ‘M on the balcony right now actually… I picked up booze on the way back. Didn’ feel like dealin’ with people at the bar.”

“Fair enough.” She smiled. “But really Tuck… I wanted to call to thank you.”

“Yeah?”

“Saying it in the group chat is one thing but… I just don’t know what I could’ve done to deserve such a good friend like you. It really means a lot to me.”

 

Over the line, Tucker chuckled.

 

“You didn’t do anything but be yourself Vani. We’re all more than happy to be friends with you. Honestly, I should thank you all for putting up with me for so long.”

“How remarkably sober-sounding of you!” She teased with a giggle, and she grinned when she heard his deep laughter rumble through the line. “I’m a big guy. I can hold my alcohol. I can sound sober when I want to.”

“I’m sure Ranger would beg to differ.”

“Whatever stuff he served me that time wasn’t even alcohol. It was poison.”

“Well, you did antagonize him.”

“Roger did it first!”

“But he’s much smaller than you are!” Tucker laughed again, and Vanilla thought she could hear the sounds of the traffic underneath his hotel room zooming by.

 

“Not smaller than Ranger though.”

“Yet I don’t think I’ve ever seen him drunk before.”

“With the amount of alcohol you’d have to pour into him, you’re more likely to just kill him than get him drunk.”

“Maybe that’s why he works at the bar?”

“I heard customers come from towns over to challenge him to drinking contests.” Vanilla shook her head. “And loser pays for all the shots?”

“Yup.” Tucker laughed. “He’s never lost once.”

 

A comfortable silence drifted over the two of them, each caught up in their own thoughts. Finally, after a few moments, Tucker began to speak again - softer this time.

 

“But really Vani, you don’t have to thank me for anything.”

“I do.” She said softly in reply. “Not everyone has been as caring as you, or the others even.” Her words were loaded with a backstory neither of them wanted to rehash, and instead Tucker only hummed, falling silent once more. Suddenly, he yawned.

 

“Oh, are you tired? I’m sorry if I’ve kept you on for too long!”

“Don’t worry about it!” He laughed. “I think the alcohol’s starting to make me sleepy. Tell everyone I said g’night in the chat?”

“Sure! Have sweet dreams.”

“I always do.”

 

~~

 

 **Hanger Rick:** eowugfdsfnrjwkfktnejekdntjejeje

 **kill me:** FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME

 **Hanger Rick:** F I G H T M E

 **VaniVee:**???? What’s happening??? Why are you two fighting???

 **Nanette:** From what I understand, Roger said that Star Trek was better than Star Wars and the two of them have been arguing ever since.

 **VaniVee:** For an hour??? :00

 **kill me:** from what you understand???

 **kill me:** NAN YOU’VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME

 **Nanette:** I stopped paying attention because I don’t have an opinion.

 **Hanger Rick:** UGH

 **Hanger Rick:** USELESS

 **Hanger Rick:** VANI WHAT DO YOU THINK

 **VaniVee:** Me??? :0

 **kill me:** YES

 **kill me:** STAR TREK OR STAR WARS?

 **VaniVee:** ummm

 **VaniVee:** Would you guys kill me if I said I've never seen either? :((

 **kill me:** WHAT

 **Hanger Rick:** JJSJDJFEKKWKDFNRJAKWK

 **Hanger Rick:** ARE YOU SERIOUS

 **Hanger Rick:** NO WE NEED TO RECTIFY THIS RIGHT NOW

 **kill me:** Hey aren’t we supposed to be meeting up this weekend anyway??

 **kill me:** If you don’t mind Vani we can watch some of the movies then??

 **VaniVee:** That sounds pretty fun! :) It’s been awhile since we’ve had a movie night :)

 **Nanette:** We’re meeting up this weekend?

 **Hanger Rick:** yeah if you’re free?

 **Hanger Rick:** actually what day are we meeting on? saturday’s my only day off

 **Nanette:** Myself as well.

 **kill me:** I mean I'm free the whole weekend so if Saturday works for you guys I'm game

 **VaniVee:** I should be free then! :)

 **Nanette:** At your house Roger?

 **kill me:** yeah unless anyone wants to object. Vani said she wanted to see Mittens :)

 **VaniVee:** I miss her </3

 **Nanette:** Ah yes. The feline. Remind me to take allergy medicine before I come over then.

 **Hanger Rick:** i can. can you pick me up? my cars in the shop for repairs and i don't think it's gonna be fixed by saturday. place was prettyyyyyyy booked.

 **Nanette:** Sure.

 **Nanette:** Do you still live at the same place?

 **Hanger Rick:** yep! just pick me up at the corner tho.

 **kill me:** nan you actually know where ranger lives??

 **Nanette:** Of course. I helped him move in.

 **Nanette:** Though that's the only time I've been inside.

 **Hanger Rick:** the place sucks you wouldn't even wanna spend time there anyway.

 **Hanger Rick:** i’m saving up for a penthouse

 **Hanger Rick:** then i’ll invite u guys over

 **VaniVee:** aww :(( I wanna see the place though!

 **Hanger Rick:** you REALLY don't.

 **kill me:** sounds fake but ok

 **kill me:** the more you try to convince us that we don't wanna see it the more I want to see it

 **Hanger Rick:** just fuck off ok?

 **Hanger Rick:** what time are we meeting up anyway?

 **kill me:** 6:30, unless you guys wanna meet earlier?

 **Nanette:** Do you have anything else planned earlier?

 **kill me:** nah just grocery shopping. I figure if I invite you over I should feed you guys.

 **Hanger Rick:** YES ROGE IS COOKING THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST

 **kill me:** you wouldn't be this excited if you just took cooking lessons like I told you, you garden gnome

 **Hanger Rick:** omfg did you just call me a garden gnome

 **Hanger Rick:** what the fuck

 **VaniVee:** Oh, can I help you cook, Roger? I can come over earlier! :)

 **kill me:** Well how could I ever say no to our lovely princess? What time do you wanna come over Vani?

 **VaniVee:** Any time works for me! :)

 **kill me:** ah how about 12:30?? You can help me shop

 **Hanger Rick:** jesus do u really need that much time to cook?? are you making a buffet??

 **Nanette:** Ranger we all know how you eat.

 **Hanger Rick:** RUDE

 **kill me:** between you and Tucker I don't know who eats more

 **VaniVee:** Even though you're so small…

 **Hanger Rick:** IM NOT SMALL IM 5’7” DAMMIT

 **VaniVee:** Well, Tuck is 6’3” and I’m 5’11”

 **Nanette:** And Roger and I are both 5’9”

 **kill me:** Face it ranger you're the shortie of our group

 **kill me:** the token small character

 **kill me:** our own little hobbit <3

 **Hanger Rick:** oh shut the fuck up

 **Hanger Rick:** i can hold my liquor better than you so who's the real winner here

 **kill me:** Do you wanna bet????

 **Nanette:** Please don't.

 **Hanger Rick:** lol you don't know who you're messing with do you?

 **Hanger Rick:** if you can't out drink tuck then there's no way you can out drink me

 **kill me:** I CAN TOTALLY OUTDRINK TUCKER

 **Nanette:** No. You can’t. The only person who can outdrink Tucker is Ranger.

 **Hanger Rick:** teehee you know me so well nan <3

 **Nanette:** No. These are just facts. I’ve never met anyone who could outdrink you.

 **Hanger Rick:** this is because i was blessed by dionysus

 **Hanger Rick:** god of drink

 **VaniVee:** You really think so??? :0

 **kill me:** God Vani please tell me you don’t believe this guy

 **VaniVee:** Well, I don’t know! He could’ve been! it seems really weird that he’s able to drink so much doesn’t it?? :0

 **Nanette:** That’s more of a case of Ranger not being human, versus being blessed by the gods.

 **Nanette:** The secret’s out Ranger.

 **Nanette:** You are an alien.

**Hanger Rick: gasp**

**Hanger Rick:** all this time i never thought anyone would find me out…

 **kill me:** Oh my god.

 **Hanger Rick:** YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Nanette:** I don’t have to. The government will accept a dead specimen just as much as a live one.

 **Hanger Rick:** nan how… how could you?!

 **Nanette:** -cocks gun- Sayonara, Mr. Alien.

 **kill me:** SO VANI

 **kill me:** Message me about what we’re gonna make??

 **VaniVee:** Sure!! Talk to you later guys <3

 **Hanger Rick:** no… no vani don’t leave me with her!! she’ll kill me!!

 **VaniVee:** Nettie, don’t kill him :((

 **VaniVee:** It would make me really sad if you did :((

 **Nanette:** -puts gun away- You win this time, Mr. Alien. But how long will your luck last?

 **Hanger Rick:** you’re a lifesaver vee :’)

 **Hanger Rick:** what would i do without you? :’)

 **VaniVee:** hehe I love u 2 Ranger <3

 **kill me:** you all disgust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update on tucker's career: he's a gaming youtuber! thank you to my darling friend keana and ranger incarnate for giving me the idea!
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


	3. WE SHOULD REALLY COME UP WITH A PERMANENT TITLE FOR THIS THREAD (8/22 | 3:15PM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> current skype names:  
> Ranger: Park Hanger  
> Nanette: Nanette  
> Vanilla: Vanilla Vega  
> Roger: espresso please  
> Tucker: sunbolian 689

**WE SHOULD REALLY COME UP WITH A PERMANENT TITLE FOR THIS THREAD**

_Sunday, August 23, 3:15PM_

 

 **Park Hanger:** if we were a mafia who would be who

 **espresso please:** What a way to start off the morning

 **Park Hanger:** it’s not even morning tho

 **Park Hanger:** shouldn’t u be at work?

 **espresso please:** I should be but I’m not. I’m sick

 **Park Hanger:** ewww cooties

 **espresso please:** Shut the duck up

 **espresso please:** *fuck

 **espresso please:** Sorry. I’m on my phone. Autocorrect is a bitch.

 **Park Hanger:** l m a o. but y do u want an espresso??

 **espresso please:** I have no energy. I could barely make it out of bed to feed Mittens.

 **espresso please:** Like I actually feel like death

 **espresso please:** Mittens won’t even cuddle with me because I keep coughinggggg DDD:

 **Park Hanger:** stop using emojis

 **Park Hanger:** it’s weird

 **espresso please:** stfu I’m dying over here

 **Vanilla Vega:** Oh no Roge :(((

 **Vanilla Vega:** I hope you feel better soon!!! Sending you all my love <3

 **Park Hanger:** vani veeeeeeeeeeeee <3<3

 **Vanilla Vega:** hehe Ranger dangerrrrr <3<3 :)

 **Nanette:** You still live by the grocery store and the bakery, correct?

 **espresso please:** Who me?

 **Nanette:** Yes.

 **espresso please:** Yeah, why?

 **Nanette:** I’m nearby. I’ll stop over to check on you. And I’ll bring you an espresso.

 **espresso please:** Nan you are a gift to mankind, do you know that?

 **Nanette:** Of course.

 **Park Hanger:** why are you near roge tho? doesn’t he live like halfway across town from where u are?

 **Nanette:** I’m supposed to be meeting a classmate to study for an upcoming exam in a few hours. I wanted to get here early in case I got lost.

 **Park Hanger:** oooo a study date ;)

 **Nanette:** Yes, I literally just said that.

**Park Hanger: you know what i mean nanette**

**Vanilla Vega:** oo omg Nan did you get a girlfriend?? :00

 **espresso please:** Guys if Nan had a girlfriend she would’ve told us already.

 **Nanette:** Sure.

 **espresso please:** Why do you sound so flippant about that?!

 **Nanette:** The last time I told you all about someone I was dating, you got so invested in our relationship that when we broke up you all were crying more than me.

 **Park Hanger:** BUT STEPHANIE WAS AWESOME

 **Nanette:** She also tried to get me to do drugs.

 **Park Hanger:** i mean what’s wrong with a little recreational weed every now and again.

 **Park Hanger:** YOU USED TO GET HIGH ON THE DAILY WHEN YOU WERE GETTING YOUR BACHLEORS

 **Nanette:** She wanted me to do meth.

 **Nanette:** And heroin.

**Nanette: At the same time.**

**Park Hanger:** … well you never said that

 **Nanette:** I shouldn’t have to.

 **sunbolian 689:** nan wuld b tha leader

 **espresso please:** What

 **Park Hanger:** what the fuck is your screen name

 **Vanilla Vega:** Tucker!! <3

 **sunbolian 689:** VANI!! <3<3<3

 **Park Hanger:** wow, caps AND three fucking hearts? excessive much??

 **sunbolian 689:** Vani deserves all da hearts in tha universe stfu

 **Vanilla Vega:** aww Tuck :’) <3

 **Vanilla Vega:** You do too!! <3<3

 **sunbolian 689:** <3<3

 **espresso please:** No seriously, what the fuck are you talking about

 **sunbolian 689:** rnger askd earlyer if we were a mafiya wat wuld we all b

 **sunbolian 689:** nd so i said nan wuld b tha leader

 **Park Hanger:** SPELL MY FUCKING NAME RIGHT YOU ASSHOLE

 **sunbolian 689:** ;D

 **Park Hanger:** DON’T YOU FUCKING WINK AT ME

 **Nanette:** Why would I be the leader?

 **sunbolian 689:** bc ur fucking devious af????????

 **espresso please:** He is right, of all of us you would probably make the best criminal mastermind

 **Nanette:** I’m not sure if I should be flattered or offended by that.

 **Park Hanger:** i think i should be the leader

 **sunbolian 689:** nonononononononono ur tha distraction

 **sunbolian 689:** the intel

 **sunbolian 689:** the undercover guy

 **sunbolian 689:** u fuk ppl 4 their secrets

 **Park Hanger:** oooo i’ll take that

 **Park Hanger:** that means i get to fuck people

 **Park Hanger:** and i am ALWAYS down to fuck people

 **espresso please:** But then wouldn’t you have to kill them after??

 **Park Hanger:** eh yknow. i do what i gotta do

 **espresso please:** omfg

 **sunbolian 689:** Vani u shuld b tha escape & weapons person

 **Vanilla Vega:** omg I would love that :))

 **sunbolian 689:**  roge ur obvs the hcker

 **espresso please:** Thank you?

 **sunbolian 689:** nd im tha brawn

 **Nanette:** I don’t think anyone was going to argue with you about that.

 **Park Hanger:** nope

 **espresso please:** Not at all.

 **Park Hanger:** also seriously wtf is up with your name

 **sunbolian 689:** i thot it waz creative :((((

 **sunbolian 689:** meanie :(((((

 **Park Hanger:** how is it creative when there’s no fucking meaning behind it

 **sunbolian 689:** :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

 **Park Hanger:** also vani, i meant to ask earlier but why are you using your full name??

 **Vanilla Vega:** Oh! I have some official skype calls I have to make today so I thought it would be better if I used my actual name and not my channel name hehe :)

 **sunbolian 689:** oooo wrk stuff?

 **Vanilla Vega:** yep!! There’s a possibility i might get to make my own line of products!! Fingers crossed!!

 **Park Hanger:** OMG

 **Park Hanger:** REALLY?????

 **Vanilla Vega:** If everything goes well with this meeting!! I’m supposed to have the conference call in a few minutes. I’m so nervous!! >3<;;;;

 **espresso please:** Omg super excited for you!

 **espresso please:** I’m crossing my fingers!

_espresso please sent an image_

_Nanette sent an image_

**Nanette:** Me too. Good luck Vani Vee <3

 **Vanilla Vega:** Omg thank you guysssss ; n;

 **Park Hanger:** WAIT ME TOO

_Park Hanger sent an image_

**Park Hanger:** I CROSSED MY FINGERS AND MY TOES

 **espresso please:** How the fuck did you take that picture

 **Park Hanger:** with skill

 **Park Hanger:** also i’m at one of my coworkers houses

 **Nanette:** Is it the cute one?

 **espresso please:**????

 **Park Hanger:** yeah, i’m at alice’s

 **Park Hanger:** her boyfriend is here too so

 **Park Hanger:** rip the dream nanfriend

 **Nanette:** Dammit.

 **espresso please:** If he wasn’t there what were you gonna say???

 **Nanette:** I don’t know. But knowing she has a boyfriend just kills any and all interest I had in talking to her.

 **Park Hanger:** u just wanted to get in her pants didn’t you?

 **Nanette:** It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten laid.

 **Nanette:** I’m not **you**.

 **Park Hanger:** i resent that remark

 **Nanette:** I’m sure you do.

 **espresso please:** Both of you can shut up the last time I got laid was never

 **Park Hanger:** my poor virgin darling

 **Park Hanger:** i can take care of that little problem for you ;D

 **Park Hanger:** if you want ;DD

 **espresso please:** Are you seriously trying to pick me up in a skype chat with our childhood friends

 **espresso please:** Ranger. Standards.

 **Park Hanger:** hey, i have standards. that’s why i’m hitting on you.

 **Park Hanger:** i’m merely offering as a friend

 **espresso please:** WHAT FRIENDS OFFER TO UNVIRGIN-IFY THEIR OTHER FRIENDS

 **Park Hanger:** this friend <3

 **espresso please:** I’m not even gay tho

 **Park Hanger:** neither am i. what’s the big deal?

 **espresso please:** ducking you Know what I mean

 **espresso please:** *fucking

 **espresso please:** ducking autocorrect

 **espresso please:** FUCK

 **Park Hanger:** lololol siri doesn’t like your language roge

 **espresso please:** SIRI CAN DUCK OFF

 **espresso please: *** DUCK

 **espresso please:** **FUCK

 **espresso please:** ugh

 **espresso please:** I’m too sick for this bullshit I’m going to bed

 **Nanette:** Roger I’m outside your door, open up.

 **espresso please:** I guess I’m not going to bed then.

 **Vanilla Vega:** Ah I gotta go guys! In the middle of the call, wish me luck <3<3

 **Park Hanger:** luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

_4:30PM_

 

 **sunbolian 689:** fuk is everyone gne???

 **Park Hanger:** yup. its just u and me buddy boy

 **sunbolian 689:** dammit

 **Park Hanger:**? is something wrong?

 **sunbolian 689:** im gnna txt u

 **Park Hanger:** ok????

 

~~~

 

**To: Meanie**

so u kno how u guyz were sendin Vani all the good luck photos nd stuff?

 

**From: Meanie**

yeah? why?

 

**To: Meanie**

wll i thot that i should yknow… send her a video. for good luck.

 

**To: Meanie**

but then i got too embarrassed so i kept trying and retrying to do it

 

**To: Meanie**

and then when i finally managed to just say “good luck vani vee!” she was already gone :(

 

**From: Meanie**

god dude, you have it so bad

 

**From: Meanie**

look, why don’t you just send it to her anyway?

 

**From: Meanie**

it’ll make her happy to know that you were thinking of her and hoping she’d do well

 

**To: Meanie**

do u rlly think so???? im worried shell think its too much…

 

**From: Meanie**

trust me dude, she’s gonna like it

 

**From: Meanie**

ur never gonna get anywhere with her if you don’t take a chance!!

 

**To: Meanie**

i kno i kno… i’m jus scared alright??? uve never had a crush b4 u dnt kno wat its like

 

**From: Meanie**

i mean fair point. but i also don’t DO relationships

 

**From: Meanie**

EVEN IF I DID, I WOULDN’T WAIT THIS LONG TO FUCKING TELL HER

 

**From: Meanie**

IT’S BEEN 13 YEARS BUCKO

 

**From: Meanie**

GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GODDAMN GAME OR UR GONNA LOSE HER AGAIN

 

**To: Meanie**

i know i know but its easier said than done okay!!!!

 

**To: Meanie**

what if i!!!! mess up!!!!!

 

**To: Meanie**

what if!!!! she doesn’t wanna be friends with me anymore???

 

**From: Meanie**

tucker do me a favor

 

**To: Meanie**

yeah?

 

**From: Meanie**

send vani the goddamn good luck video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the secret is out, tucker likes vani  
> though i'm sure some of you already knew lolol he's not very... slick. at all.  
> vani has no clue at all though so... let's see how this plays out... 
> 
> (mwahahahaha)


	4. I TRIED, THEREFORE NO ONE SHOULD CRITICIZE ME (9/7 | 2:10 AM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens;;;; lots of implied and directly referenced sexy times in this chapter haha
> 
> current skype names:  
> \- Ranger: Hanger Danger  
> \- Nanette: Nanette  
> \- Roger: i hate my job  
> \- Tucker: nuntuck  
> \- Vanilla: VaniVee

**I TRIED, THEREFORE NO ONE SHOULD CRITICIZE ME**

_ Monday, September 7, 2:10AM _

 

_ Hanger Danger is ONLINE _

**Nanette:** Where have you been?

**Hanger Danger:** huh??

**Nanette:** You’ve been gone for the entire weekend. Did something happen?

**Hanger Danger:** haha well… maybe?? i mean. u don’t have to worry about it nanfriend, it’s not a big deal!!! :DDDDDD !!!!!

**Nanette:** Your forced casualness is making me more suspicious. What did you do?

**Hanger Danger:** ok but like why did u automatically assume that i did something wrong?? what if i was just busy??

**Hanger Danger:** wait why are u up anyway?

**Hanger Danger:** it’s like… 

**Hanger Danger:** 2 am

**Hanger Danger:** usually u are sleeping unless there are people in the chat.

**Hanger Danger:** which no one was until i came in

**Nanette:** Tucker’s coming back from England today, therefore, I am picking him up for the airport.

**Hanger Danger:** aww vanivee couldn’t do it?

**Nanette:** She offered, but Vani tends to get very sleepy at night. Neither of us would want her driving on the road. Though she did offer to come and keep me company.

**Hanger Danger:** fair point

**Hanger Danger:** u didn’t take her with then?

**Nanette:** She’s sleeping next to me.

_ Nanette sent an image _

**Hanger Danger:** AWW LOOK AT THE BBY

**Hanger Danger:** SO PRESH

**Nanette:** Indeed. :)

**Nanette:** I’ve been glaring at every person who’s checked her out as she’s been asleep.

**Hanger Danger:** good good

**Hanger Danger:** destroy them nanfriend

**Nanette:** By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask: when and why did you start calling me “Nan friend”?

**Hanger Danger:** when: a few months ago

**Hanger Danger:** why: because ur nan and you’re my friend

**Hanger Danger:** therefore

**Hanger Danger:** nanfriend

**Nanette:** … Well, it’s better than Tucker calling me “Nanny.” It reminds me of that terrible show that my older sister likes.

**Hanger Danger:** wHAT the nanny is a classic!!!!!!

**Nanette:** Classically boring. 

**Hanger Danger:** rood

**Hanger Danger:** u take that back

**Nanette:** I won’t.

**Nanette:** Anyway, stop changing the subject. I still haven’t forgotten that you haven’t answered my original question.

**Hanger Danger:** hehehehe;;;;;;;

**Hanger Danger:** what question??

**Nanette:** Don’t act like you don’t know.

**Nanette:** Where were you this past weekend?

**Hanger Danger:** ….

**Hanger Danger:** …. nowhere

**Nanette:** Ranger, if you don’t want to talk about it, then just say so. 

**Hanger Danger:** i know u won’t take that for an answer tho;;;;;

**Nanette:** Because it is 2 o’clock in the morning, I’ll let it slide. 

**Nanette:** But because you’re avoiding the question so heavily, I can’t help but worry that something’s wrong.

**Hanger Danger:** no no!! nothing’s wrong!! promise!!

**Hanger Danger:** uh

**Hanger Danger:** look, how about i tell u when everyone else is awake and alive

**Hanger Danger:** sound good?

**Nanette:** Acceptable. 

**nuntuck:** NANNY I SEE U

**nuntuck:** IM FINALLY BACK IN AMERICAAAAAAAAA

**Nanette:** Walk over to us, Vani’s sleeping.

**nuntuck:** omg Vani came 2????

**nuntuck:** im comin. i just gtta fnd my luggage

**Nanette:** Okay, we aren’t going anywhere.

**Hanger Danger:** welcome back, dork

**nuntuck:** RANGER!!!!!!!!!!

**nuntuck:** IM BACK DID U MISS ME????

**Hanger Danger:** yeah yeah i guess i missed u big guy

**Hanger Danger:** actually, mom called asking about u like… 2 days ago??

**Hanger Danger:** u should call her, she wants to know how you’ve been

**nuntuck:** oo i will i will!! how’re rach and regina btw it’s been awhile since i’ve heard from them

**Hanger Danger:** heard they started school a few days ago lmao

**Hanger Danger:** rach is super salty lmao

**Hanger Danger:** she got mad at me when i laughed at her misfortune

**Nanette:** My brother was less than thrilled about it as well.

**Hanger Danger:** it’s their senior year tho 

**Hanger Danger:** like why are their panties in a twist

**Hanger Danger:** like a few more months and then they’re free

**Nanette:** Technically, this is my brother’s junior year. He got held back last year. My parent’s weren’t pleased.

**nuntuck:** YIKES i can imagine

**Hanger Danger:** i’m surprised u didn’t tell us u had to go to his funeral over the summer

**Nanette:** I’m sincerely surprised too. Tucker, did you find your luggage yet?

**nuntuck:** YEAH SOME DUDE IS TRYNA WALK OFF WITH MY FUCKEN LUGGAGE

**nuntuck:** HOLD ON

**Hanger Danger:** yo wtf

**Hanger Danger:** who is trying to steal your luggage

**Nanette:** It appears to be a blind man. The woman with him is apologizing to Tucker profusely. 

**Hanger Danger:** well that’s fucking embarrassing. 

**Hanger Danger:** and awkward.

**Hanger Danger:** on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad do you think tuck feels rn?

**Nanette:** A solid 8.

 

\-- 

 

“An 11 actually.” Nanette looked up from her phone to find Tucker standing in front of her with a wide, sheepish grin on his face. “The guy started apologizing and making blind jokes and while his wife just laughed I was mortified.” 

“Poor darling.” Nanette cooed flatly. Gently, she turned to her right and shook her sleeping friend lightly to wake her up. “Vani, Tucker’s here.” 

“Huh…?” Vani sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. Unlike her usually put together and flawless appearance that she usually sported, now she was make-up less and adorably sleepy. In fact, she seemed to still be in her pajamas, decked out in a pink and purple striped pajama set with fuzzy purple bunny slippers adorning her feet. It was almost 3 in the morning and Tucker didn’t know how much more his weak, jet-lagged heart could handle.

After blinking her eyes open a bit more, Vani looked up at Tucker, seeming to really register for the first time that he was there. In seconds she was up on her feet, a wide smile splitting her face. “TUCK!” Vani launched herself into his arms and in surprise, he dropped his carry on to catch her, blushing hard as she snuggled into his neck with a delighted giggle. “I’ve missed you so much!! Talking to you on Skype is one thing, but now I can sleep easier knowing you’re safe back here!”

“I’m happy to see you too, Vani!” Tucker hugged her tightly, relishing for that one moment that he got to hold her tightly against his chest before she finally climbed out of his arms. Over Vani’s shoulder, he could see Nanette lowering her phone, with an amused smile on her face.

“Did you film that?” He mouthed. She only smirked and shrugged her shoulders.

“Come on, lovebirds, back to the car. It’s late and some of us have class tomorrow.” 

“Sorry for inconveniencing you.” Tucker picked up his bags again, and Vani took his hand in her own, dragging him after Nanette. “It’s no problem at all!” She chirped. “Nettie was happy to come get you! Right?” 

“You could say that. I just don’t trust Roger or Ranger to drive this late.” Nanette’s smile gave her away and Tucker smiled back at her. 

 

Yeah, it was good to be home.

 

\--

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

is tuck with you guys now?

 

**To: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

Yes. Look.

_ sent 1 video _

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

THEY’RE SO FUCKING CUTE WTH

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

LIKE WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO BE THIS CUTE

 

**To: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

More importantly, how hasn’t Vani realized Tucker’s feelings yet.

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

more more importantly, WHY HASN’T THIS DUMBASS TOLD HER ALREADY

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

ITS BEEN THIRTEEN MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN YEARS NAN

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

ROGER COULD GET A GIRLFRIEND IN THE TIME ITS GONNA TAKE FOR TUCK TO CONFESS

 

**To: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

Now there’s a stretch.

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

you’re too cruel nanfriend. reasons why i love you.

 

**To: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

But of course. Anyway, we’re leaving the airport now so I gotta go.

 

**To: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

Don’t forget what you promised me earlier Ranger Pellish. I’m going to hold you to it.

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

fuck fine just leave me alone already

 

**From: Your Very Bestest Friend <3 Pellish**

drive safe.

 

\--

 

_ Tuesday, September 8, 11:40PM _

 

**i hate my job:** Ugh, I’m finally on lunch break

**i hate my job:** Welcome back, Tuck!

**i hate my job:** And what is this about Ranger needing to spill the beans about something?

**Hanger Danger:** shut the hell your mouth and don’t remind her

**Nanette:** You really think you can pull the rug out from under me, Ranger Pellish?

**Nanette:** You’re lucky I’m letting you do this in front of everyone.

**Nanette:** Because I have other ways of making you tell.

**Hanger Danger:** …. is it going to involve one of my piercings?

**Nanette:** Several.

**Hanger Danger:** FUCK FINE.

**Hanger Danger:** though i can’t tell yet because tuck and vani aren’t here

**Hanger Danger:** so there :P

**VaniVee:** I’m here! :DD

**nuntuck:** i’m kinda awake…

**Hanger Danger:** fuck 

**VaniVee:** Don’t worry Tuck I’ll keep you filled in on all the details!

**nuntuck:** gr8 thanks. im gonna b in n out then

**i hate my job:** You’re gonna keep Tuck filled in?? How??

**VaniVee:** Oh! Nan didn’t tell you guys?? Apparently after getting Tuck from the airport I fell asleep in the car and I wouldn’t let him go when he carried me into my house last night so he and Nan just ended up staying over;;;; ^^;;;;

**Hanger Danger:** DAMMIT NAN YOU STAYED THE NIGHT TOO????

**Nanette:** Well, in my own defense, I tried to leave but Tucker wouldn’t let me.

**i hate my job:** Are you fucking kidding me?

**nuntuck: shut the hell your mouth ////**

**VaniVee:** Huh, what’s wrong with Nettie staying the night too?? :00

**nuntuck:** ANYWAY RANGER TELL US WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

**Hanger Danger:** fuck you man

**Hanger Danger:** that was a low fucking blow

**Hanger Danger:** i’m gonna kick your ass the next time I see you

**nuntuck:** id like 2 c u trY ASSWIPE

**Hanger Danger:** IS THAT A CHALLENGE I WILL TAKE YOU SLEEPY OR NOT JERKOFF

**Nanette:** Ranger Houston Pellish I swear to god you will tell us what happened right now or I will literally call your mother.

**i hate my job:** DAMN. THE MIDDLE NAME CAME OUT.

**nuntuck:** UR IN TROUBLE NOW LMAO

**VaniVee:** aww Range, it can’t be that bad right! We won’t laugh at you promise :(((

**Hanger Danger:** yeah you won’t but the other 3 will

**Hanger:** scratch that, tuck will laugh, roger will be contemplating why we’re friends and nan might kill me

**i hate my job:** Just spit it out what the fuck did you do

**Hanger Danger:** UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINE

**Hanger Danger:** ok so you guys know how i told you all about the CEO of my job right?? like how i met him at the bar and flirted with him for half an hour without knowing he was the ceo right??

**i hate my job:** If this goes where I think it’s going, Nanette is 100% going to kill you.

**Hanger Danger:** i know. why do you think i didn’t want to tell her?

**Nanette:** Continue.

**Hanger Danger:** right. um. 

**Hanger Danger:** so last friday i was at the bar working and shit, living my life

**Hanger Danger:** and the fucking ceo guy walks in the bar again

**Hanger Danger:** and i mean, i guess he can do what he wants i mean it’s his fucking bar like. i can’t stop him or nothing.

**Hanger Danger:** and he sat down at the bar and ordered a gin on the rocks -i guess that’s like his drink or something idk- and yknow. i gave it to him. but i kept conversation pretty curt and minimal bc yknow

**Hanger Danger:** HE’S MY BOSS’S BOSS’S BOSS’S BOSS.

**Hanger Danger:** and he was making polite conversation. and like, i was trying to keep myself professional and shit - the other tender’s noticed too and they thought it was weird af that i was holding this hot ass man away from me like a mother fucking gym sock

**Hanger Danger:** I MEAN ITS NOT LIKE I WANT TO

**Hanger Danger:** BUT YKNOW

**i hate my job:** Yes we know, your boss x 100 just carry on

**Hanger Danger:** ANYWAY

**Hanger Danger:** so like. he calls me back over to order another drink. and as i was mixing it he was like

**Hanger Danger:** “you’re much more muted today. where’s the hot vixen i met a few weeks ago?”

**VaniVee:** Ohmygod he actually said that? :000

**nuntuck:** gross

**i hate my job:** Yeah that’s a little creepy

**Hanger Danger:** yeah in hindsight, a bit creepy, however, the way he said it got me feelin some type of way

**Hanger Danger:** so i was just like “um. excuse me?”

**Hanger Danger:** and he was like “yeah that flirty little minx you were then. where’d he go? i had half a mind to fuck you over this bar if your boss hadn’t interrupted us.”

**nuntuck:** WHOA

**i hate my job:** UM WHAT THE HELL

**VaniVee:** Omg Ranger get it :0000

**i hate my job:** NONONO THIS IS LIKE. WEIRD. DOES THIS NOT FEEL WEIRD TO ANY OF YOU. RANGER WERE YOU NOT WEIRDED OUT BY THIS IN THE MOMENT??

**Hanger Danger:** ok. i mean, i kind of was??? but at the same time… there was this hot guy made of money telling me he wanted to fuck me over the bar. i’m weak okay????

**Nanette:** Too weak.

**Hanger Danger:** are you going to kill me yet?

**Nanette:** Not yet. Continue.

**Hanger Danger:** so like. i was intrigued. so i casually asked. “hmm. you thought about me often then?”

**Hanger Danger:** and he was like “i couldn’t get you out of my mind baby. i was wondering if i could persuade you to let me take you home tonight.”

**Hanger Danger:** and i was like. teetering between trying to keep my professional vibe up and NOT get involved with this guy and just saying to hell with it because FUCK its been awhile since i got laid and i was getting antsy and with this guy taking up all my attention (cuz i mean i can’t ignore him??? he’s the ceo???) all the other hot people at the bar were gonna be thinking that i was taken and just????

**Hanger Danger:** ok, yall know how i get when i haven’t fucked in awhile

**i hate my job:** I rather wish I didn’t to be hornet

**i hate my job:** *honest

**i hate my job:** I fucking hate Apple.

**Hanger Danger:** so… my judgement was a little. off.

**Nanette:** A little?

**Hanger Danger:** i wasn’t thinking ahead basically.

**Hanger Danger:** so uh. i may have said “well that depends on the method of persuasion.”

**Hanger Danger:** and he was like “did you have something in mind?”

**Hanger Danger:** so i said “i’m not gonna give you all the clues big boy. you’ll have to figure them out yourself.”

**VaniVee:** ooooooooohhhhhh my god???????? You really said that??????? Ranger you have to teach me your wayyyyyys ; n;

**Hanger Danger:** anytime you want vani boo <3 

**i hate my job:** Jesus christ I don’t wanna listen to your dirty talk just get to the point

**Hanger Danger:** honey, if you think that’s dirty talk then you haven’t seen NOTHIN yet

**Hanger Danger:** ;))))))

**Hanger Danger:** anyway tho

**Hanger Danger:** he looked at me for literally 2.5

**Hanger Danger:** and then he was like “come to my office.”

**Hanger Danger:** so uh. i told my boss that the ceo wanted to see me in his office and my boss gave me the go ahead to go. so i went upstairs to the office he was using and shit - which is a usually vacant back room but apparently it was his office for when he was in town and observing the handlings of the bar and shit. didn’t know that bc manager never lets us back there but ANYWAY

**Hanger Danger:** so like. i hadn’t been in the room for literally more than 2 seconds, and i’d just closed the door behind me when he fucken backed me up against this door

**Hanger Danger:** and i’ll spare roger’s virgin ears the details

**i hate my job:** Thank you

**VaniVee:** (i want the deets!!!! :000)

**Hanger Danger:** lol i’ll text them to you my love~

**Hanger Danger:** i mean long story short he fucked me in his office

**Nanette:** Ranger. Houston. Pellish.

**Hanger Danger:** uh;;;;; it goes on so;;;;; save your lecture for a bit ok nanfriend;;;;

**Nanette:** I’m going to murder you.

**Hanger Danger:** i know omg;;;;;;;;

**VaniVee:** Wait!! What happened after that???? :0000

**Hanger Danger:** so uh. after we cleaned up. he was like, helping me get dressed again, and i was like “welp some persuasion.” and he was like “we’re going home. now.”

**Hanger Danger:** and i was like shit ok

**Hanger Danger:** so after trying to make myself look like i had not just been fucked and giving up because i know myself and i know that after i get fucked it just LOOKS like i got fucked

**i hate my job:** This is why my mom stopped allowing you over.

**Hanger Danger:** it is not my fault that i didn’t know Jamal was your cousin.

**i hate my job:** Wait. I thought you slept with Stephanie.

**Hanger Danger:** uh. well.

**i hate my job:** RANGER

**Hanger Danger:** i’m just pissing off EVERYONE today aren’t i

**VaniVee:** not me!!! I’m so curious :0000

**nuntuck:** Vani. pls nver evr b like rnger

**Hanger Danger:** SPELL MY FUCKING NAME RIGHT YOU DYSLEXIC ASSHOLE

**nuntuck:** that’s offensive

**Hanger Danger:** shit you’re right sorry

**Hanger Danger:** MY POINT STILL STANDS THOUGH

**Hanger Danger:** SPELL MY FUCKING NAME RIGHT

**VaniVee:** I could never be like ranger haha ;;;; I’m not brave enough >3<

**Nanette:** I don’t know if I would call it bravery or stupidity.

**Hanger Danger:** i can feel you seething from here;;;

**Hanger Danger:** should i even go on;;;;;;

**Nanette:** You better.

**Hanger Danger:** shit ok

**Hanger Danger:** so i got off work early, and we rode in his expensive ass car back to his fucking penthouse

**Hanger Danger:** (i actually took pictures of it bc damn that view tho #goals)

**Hanger Danger:** and like. from there it just. went as it did.

**Hanger Danger:** fucked on every available surface.

**VaniVee:** Was it good???? .o.

**Hanger Danger:** eh. it was aight. 8/10 tbh. i was just kind of too happy with the fact i had something shoved up my ass to care

**i hate my job:** T M FUCKING I

**Hanger Danger:** #slightlysorrytoyourvirginalears

**i hate my job:** ughhhhHHhhH

**i hate my job:** I’m lucky my skin is so dark otherwise, I’d be blushing like a motherfucker rn

**VaniVee:** Tucker is groaning about how he doesn’t wanna hear this;;;;;

**Hanger Danger:** blame nan

**Nanette:** Blame yourself. However, I don’t understand why you were gone the whole weekend if you only fucked that one night.

**Hanger Danger:** here’s the thing uh. it wasn’t just one night

**Hanger Danger:** more specifically he wouldn’t let me leave??

**nuntuck:** he. what?

**i hate my job:** I’m sorry come again? He wouldn’t  _ let _ you?

**VaniVee:** wat.

**Nanette:** What was his name again? I’m sorry, I don’t recall you mentioning it.

**Hanger Danger:** guys;;; calm down its not that big of a deal???

**nuntuck:** NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. YOU LITERALLY JUST TOLD US THAT THIS SLIGHTLY SUSPICIOUS MAN WHO HAS A LOT OF POWER OVER YOU WOULDN’T LET YOU LEAVE HIS HOUSE AFTER YOU FUCKED

**nuntuck:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL

**Hanger Danger:** i mean idk its not??????

**Nanette:** Ranger I swear to god. If this was one of us you would be losing your shit right now. Do you really think we’d be okay with hearing something like that?

**Hanger Danger:** can i just continue???

**Hanger Danger:** like ok i worded that really badly. he didn’t want me to leave. so he kind of did stuff to try and keep me there? he said he liked coming home to me all tied up on his bed…

**i hate my job:** JESUS HE HAD YOU TIED TO HIS BED WHAT THE HELL RANGER

**Hanger Ranger:** i mean. we had a safe word and if i really wanted to i could get out of the chains on my own

**nuntuck:** THE CHAINS

**nuntuck:** RANGER LITERALLY WHAT THE HELL

**Hanger Danger:** guys;;;;

**Hanger Danger:** anyway that’s where i was the past weekend

**Hanger Danger:** not one of my best decisions i admit

**Hanger Danger:** since like before i finally left i kinda had to sneak out??

**nuntuck:** why the fuck wasn’t i in the country for this

**nuntuck:** i would’ve literally killed him

**Hanger Danger:** i know big guy i know;;;;

**VaniVee:** Why did you have to sneak out?? :0 this does not sound good;;;;

**i hate my job:** Should I call Nan, or the police?

**VaniVee:** I mean… both probably????

**VaniVee:** Nettie are you okay???

**VaniVee:** You’re pacing the living room like crazy

**Nanette:** I’m trying to keep from throwing my phone at the wall. Just. Keep talking.

**Hanger Danger:** shit i really made you mad fuck

**Nanette:** IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT?

**Hanger Danger:** fuck um;;;;

**Nanette:** RANGER YOU COULD’VE DIED

**Hanger Danger:** i think that’s a… bit of a stretch???

**Nanette:** IT. IS. NOT.

**Nanette:** I should fucking kick your ass. I should really fucking kick your fucking ass.

**Hanger Danger:** i’m sorry nan, really im sorry;;;;

**Hanger Danger:** i should’ve told you guys what was going on shit i didn’t mean to scare you

**Nanette:** I’m not SCARED you jackass. I’m livid.

**Hanger Danger:** nan.

**Hanger Danger:** i know you’re not just mad at me.

**Hanger Danger:** you were scared. i’m really sorry for scaring you. 

**Hanger Danger:** listen. how about we go out for ice cream later. i’ll meet you on your campus?? and you can punch me for being an idiot and then you can cry on me because i know you’re about to cry.

**Nanette:** I’ll see you in 20 minutes.

**Hanger Danger:** ok

**Hanger Danger:** welp it looks like that’s the end of the story lol. i have to go hug my nanfriend and buy her ice cream so uh;;;;

**i hate my job:** We should all meet up later to scold you

**i hate my job:** But I have reports to do so. Later maybe?

**VaniVee:** Tuck and I are gonna be hanging out here all day! Maybe you all can come here later?

**VaniVee:** Tuck already fell asleep haha I’m gonna let him nap <3 What a cutie <3

**i hate my job:** Sounds good to me! :)

**Hanger Danger:** yeah me and nan’ll show up later

**i hate my job:** go comfort your platonic girlfriend

**Hanger Danger:** i’m gonna go comfort my platonic girlfriend jesus. 

**Hanger Danger:** should i put makeup over the hickeys or?

**i hate my job:** For all of our sakes. Yes.

**Hanger Danger:** ugh fine. see you guys later

**VaniVee:** okay!! <3

**VaniVee:** Really hug Nettie okay?? She was really freaking out :((

**Hanger Danger:** i will i will promise

**i hate my job:** Nan never says it but she’s really soft hearted isn’t she?

**Hanger Danger:** haha only for us

**Hanger Danger:** byeeeeeee

**VaniVee:** bye Ranger danger hehe <3

**Hanger Danger:** see you later my love <3

**i hate my job:** Don’t die driving

**Hanger Danger:** watch me

**i hate my job:** … Hey Vani quick question.

**VaniVee:** hm?? What’s up Roge?? :0

**i hate my job:** Do you really think tucker’s a cutie?

**VaniVee:** what?? Of course!! <3 He’s the cutest <3 Why?

**i hate my job:** Heh. Just checking.


	5. YOU COULD STAND TO BE GAYER (9/10 | 4:40PM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after 800 years, he is back with an update!!
> 
> Current Skype Names:  
> \- Nanette: Nanette  
> \- Ranger: Team Thor  
> \- Tucker: Magic Mike 4ever, Vani's Romeo  
> \- Roger: downtown blues  
> \- Vanilla: Vani Bean

**YOU COULD STAND TO BE GAYER**

_Thursday, September 10, 4:40PM_

 

 **Nanette:** The tension in the room was palpable; our teacher stopped and stared at the tiny source of horror that was hidden underneath the desk, wondering when - god when - would it stop crying.

 **downtown blues:** lmaooooooooooo

 **downtown blues:** So wait you mean to tell me this girl hid her baby under the table??

 **downtown blues:** Isn’t that fucking dangerous???

 **Nanette:** Roger, if you know anything about nurses, know that we will do anything to get our license.

 **downtown blues:** Jfc

 **Team Thor:** i swear to god every time i come in here the two of you are always around. do you two have lives????

 **Nanette:** Aside from avoiding studying like the plague? No.

 **downtown blues:** I’m waiting at the vet, Mittens is having surgery, so I had to take off of work.

 **Nanette:** Ah yes. The feline. How is she?

 **downtown blues:** My poor baby is so scared :((( I could hardly get her out of her cage :(((

 **Team Thor:** i thought you had to go to the back with your pets??

 **downtown blues:** For check ups yeah, not for surgery.

 **Vani Bean:** Oh no!! :((( I hope Mittens feels better soon Roge <3<3

 **downtown blues:** Thanks Vanivee <3

 **Vani Bean:** What does she need to have surgery for tho?? :00

 **downtown blues:** She has bladder stones :((( I tried changing her diet some to see if it would help but she’s still in so much pain so I brought her in.

 **Team Thor:** that’s honestly kinda gross

 **downtown blues:** How is that gross?

 **Team Thor:** there’s stones in her fucking bladder how is that not gross tf

 **Team Thor:** see this is why y’all will never catch me with fucking pets

 **Nanette:** How much did it cost?

 **downtown blues:** For what? Mittens or the surgery?

 **Nanette:** The surgery.

 **downtown blues:** Around 900+ I think? I just kinda swiped my card;;;;

 **Nanette:** You will go to any lengths for that cat, won’t you?

 **downtown blues:** Of course!!! That’s my baby <3<3

 **Team Thor:** roge how long has it been since u got laid?

 **downtown blues:** How is that question even relevant to what we’re talking about???

 **Team Thor:** it ain’t.

 **Team Thor:** now answer the question.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** if were gunna tlk bout random q’s ten y dont u tell evry1 y ur name iz team thor??

 **Team Thor:** i swear your spelling gets worse every fucking time i talk to you

 **Vani Bean:** I was actually gonna ask u about that Ranger Danger!! And I guess you too, Tuck! What’s with the names :0

 **downtown blues:** Is no one gonna ask me about my name??

 **Nanette:** Downtown Blues is the opposite of Uptown Funk.

 **downtown blues:** Well, of course you know because I told you that earlier! You spoiled the surprise Nan!

 **Nanette:** I’m not sorry.

 **Team Thor:** #savage

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** wat i wanna kno is y rngr alwayz gets clld “ranger danger” nd y im just “tuck”

 **Team Thor:** does your name conveniently rhyme with a host of other words? i thought the fuck not.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** u dident get mad at me for spellin ur name wrong BD

 **Team Thor:** i’m like the hulk

 **Team Thor:** i’m always angry

 **downtown blues:** But no seriously, what is up with your names.

 **Team Thor:** this fucking idiot thinks that channing tatum is better than chris hemsworth

 **Team Thor:** he is fucking MISTAKEN

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** DAS BULLSHIT ND U KNO IT RNGR

 **downtown blues:** Are you fucking kidding me?

 **Nanette:** This is Ranger and Tucker. Of course they’re serious. Before either of you asks, I don’t have an opinion on either.

 **downtown blues:** I mean… Same honestly? They’re both just unnecessarily hot white guys who make me feel bad about myself.

 **Team Thor:** oooo roge you think they’re hot?

 **Team Thor:** do tell do tell~

 **downtown blues:** SHUT UP OK. I MEAN. THEY’RE CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE RIGHT???

 **Nanette:** Don’t worry Roger. Believing that they’re hot doesn’t make you /gay/.

 **downtown blues:** Oh thank god.

 **downtown blues:** Wait. No.

 **downtown blues:** I mean.

 **Team Thor:** i’m disowning you for the rest of the conversation

 **Team Thor:** go sit in the corner and think about what you did

 **downtown blues:** … Bye guys

 **downtown blues:** I’m gonna go kill myself now.

 **Vani Bean:** nooooo don’t die Roge!! :((((

 **downtown blues:** I did the straight friend thing again Vani

 **downtown blues:** there’s no other Choice for me. I must die.

 **Team Thor:** hell yeah you do. don’t come back fucker.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** dam rng ur so mean

 **Team Thor:** hell yes i am

 **Vani Bean:** nooooooo roge ; A; we love you!!!!

 **downtown blues:** What I have done is unforgivable

 **Nanette:** I may have lead you into that trap a bit. But seriously Roger I thought we were past this.

 **downtown blues:** Ugh I know I’m.

 **downtown blues:** I don’t have an excuse, it’s just ingrained in my mind.

 **downtown blues:** Anyway, Mittens’s surgery is done I’m gonna go get my baby, peace.

 **Vani Bean:** RANGER YOU MADE HIM SAD!!!

 **Vani Bean:** APOLOGIZE!!!

 **Team Thor:** why should i apologize?? he did the thing again

 **Vani Bean:** But you know he’s sorry!!! Don’t be mean to him :((((

 **Vani Bean:** He’s trying all the time okay!!!

 **Nanette:** You would think after being friends with us for years now he’d be past this though. Ranger’s known he was bi since he was what?

 **Team Thor:** birthed

 **Vani Bean:** that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna mess up sometimes!!

 **Vani Bean:** i can’t believe you guys :(( I’m gonna call Roge :((

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** wll good goin u 2. mde vani AND roge upset.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** hpe it feelz gud 2 b jackasses

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** esp u rngr rick

 **Team Thor:** ugh shut up.

 **Team Thor:** i was only teasing him a little. ish.

 **Nanette:** Ranger that’s bullshit and we all know it.

 **Team Thor:** UGH FINE

 **Team Thor:** i can’t help it ok!! roge gets on my damn nerves sometimes bc he’s so scared of being seen as gay or whatever

 **Team Thor:** like around his parents i guess i get but around us??????

 **Team Thor:** like ⅗ of us are gay in some way????

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** wait whos da ⅗?

 **Team Thor:** me, nan and vani??

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** shit vani’s gay???

 **Team Thor:** nononono not the way you’re thinking big guy. she’s pan. and demi. right?

 **Nanette:** Yes, last time I talked to her about it.

 **Nanette:** Though I do believe her telling me that she has a preference for strong, tall men.

 **Team Thor:** OHOHOHO

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** OEAFUDJVBOF PLS STOP YOU KNOW SHE CN GO BACK AND READ THIS

 **Team Thor:** good

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** nt anthr wrd out of u mister

 **Team Thor:** spell my name right and i’ll think about it

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** …

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** ur a dickbag, ranger

 **Team Thor:** HA. I AM. MWAHAHAHA.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** not another FUCKING word do you hear me

 **Team Thor:** yes yes your royal doucheiness. shut up.

 **Nanette:** Though why do you ask Tuck, I thought it was pretty obvious?

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** wll, i didn’t know vani was pan - i knw she was demi tho

 **Team Thor:** i was the exact opposite. i knew she was pan didn’t know she was demi.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** also, technically that statistic should be ⅘

 **Team Thor:** roge is secretly gay??

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** no dumbass i’m gay

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** sorta anyway

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** me and nan were talking about it a few days ago and i think i’m uh

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** wats da word again nan?

 **Nanette:** Heteroflexible.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** ye that.

 **Team Thor:** holy shit really???????

 **Team Thor:** how’d you find out what????

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** well i mean. there was that one time that we don’t speak about.

 **Nanette:** A time we don’t speak about, huh?

 **Team Thor:** what time?

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** nanny u dnt kno about it but rngr…

 **Team Thor:** OHHHHHHHH LOL

 **Team Thor:** i know what you’re talking about lmao

 **Nanette:** Am I ever going to be made privy to what event the two of you speak of?

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** NO

 **Team Thor:** lol i’ll text you

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** RANGER U CAN’T

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** BRO CODE

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** YOU FUCKING CAN’T MAN YOU PROMISED ME

 **Team Thor:** well since u had the courtesy to actually spell my name right…

 **Team Thor:** how about this. when you stop being a bitch and ask out you-know-who i get to tell nanfriend

 **Nanette:** Tucker ask them out tomorrow.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** oh my god wut

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** no

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** wat if dey say no??????

 **Nanette:** Their acceptance had nothing to do with Ranger telling me. Tucker I need to know.

 **Team Thor:** lol my dear nanfriend doesn’t like people not telling her secrets tuck baby

 **Team Thor:** you better get a move on ;)

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** do me a favor nd never call me baby ever again

 **Team Thor:** what’s wrong baby~? i think the name suits you~

 **Nanette:** Gross.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** agreed

 **Team Thor:** ok fuck you too then???? i know i’m sexy i don’t need ur validation.

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** watevr helps u slep @ nite

 **Team Thor:** YOU KNOW WHAT JACKASS

 **Vani Bean:** I’m back!! :)) <3

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** HI VANIVEE!!!!!!!!!

 **Nanette:** Can you tell he’s panicking?

 **Team Thor:** lol totally

 **Vani Bean:** Hey Romeo <3<3

 **Team Thor:** I JUST SPAT OUT MY FRAKING DRINK

 **Team Thor:** ROMEO????

 **Vani Bean:** Yeah!! Is it bad?? :00 Tuck was complaining about nicknames earlier so I thought I would give him a cute one <3

 **downtown blues:** Holy shit. Tucker are you alive?

 **Magic Mike 4ever:** -WHEEZE-

 **Vani Bean:** Omg are you okay?? Should I not call you that then?? :((

 **Nanette:** Don’t worry Vani. Tucker likes it a lot.

 **Vani Bean:** Are you sure?????

 **Team Thor:** … Tuck did you seriously just-

 **Vani’s Romeo:** yes. yes i did.

 **Vani Bean:** awww!! C: Tuck that’s so cute!! I’m glad you like it!!

 **Team Thor:** how much money you wanna bet that he’s red rn

 **downtown blues:** my life savings

 **Team Thor:** bet

 **Vani’s Romeo:** i h8 bth of u

 **downtown blues:** Also I’m sorry about earlier.

 **downtown blues:** I know it bugs you.

 **Team Thor:** nah, i’m sorry. i was too hard on ya.

 **Nanette:** Myself as well, Roge.

 **downtown blues:** No no. I mean both of you are right. I should be past this.

 **Vani Bean:** aww Roge :(( I told you, it’s not your fault you know!!

 **downtown blues:** Yeah but. It just gives me a bad taste in my mouth when I slip.

 **Vani’s Romeo:** me 2. i h8 knoing those ppl had an effect on me

 **Team Thor:** both of u are better people than you give yourselves credit for.

 **Team Thor:** ur more than ur family’s bullshit.

 **Vani’s Romeo:** AWW RNG

 **downtown blues:** I legitimately think that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me in the past 6 months

 **Vani’s Romeo:** U DO CARE

 **Team Thor:** SHUT UP I HATE BOTH OF YOU

 **Vani Bean:** aww <3<3 They’re bonding <3<3

 **Nanette:** Really this is just Ranger finally expelling some of his emotional constipation.

 **Team Thor:** fuck you.

 **Nanette:** Wanna say that again?

 **Team Thor:** no ma’am.

 **Nanette:** That’s what I thought.

 **Vani’s Romeo:** hey r ny of u guys free dis wekndd?

 **Vani’s Romeo:** we hvnt all hung out since i got back :(((

 **Vani’s Romeo:** i miss u guys :(((

 **Team Thor:** you big sap

 **Vani Bean:** Yeah!! I think I’ll be free! What day??

 **downtown blues:** Nooooot Sunday. My mom’s having a family dinner.

 **Vani’s Romeo:** cnt u escape?

 **downtown blues:** If I tried to get out of it I would never hear the end of it.

 **Nanette:** I’m also busy Sunday as well. But I should be able to make Friday or Saturday.

 **Vani Bean:** ooo Why are u busy Nettie?? :00

 **Nanette:** I have a study date.

 **Team Thor:** with the same classmate as last time??

 **Nanette:** Well they’ll be there. It’s a group of us from our anatomy and physiology lab. We have an exam on Wednesday.

 **downtown blues:** yIKES Good luck!!

 **Vani Bean:** aww Study hard Nettie!!

 **Nanette:** I will attempt.

 **Team Thor:** yeah cuz we all know how much you loooooove to study nanfriend

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Well then, how about we have a sleepover Friday and Saturday?

 **Team Thor:** i’ll switch shifts with damien so i’ll be good lol

 **downtown blues:** Sure!

 **Vani Bean:** Oooo can we play party games?? :D

 **Team Thor:** YO IF WE PLAY PARTY GAMES I’M BRINGING THE ALCOHOL

 **Nanette:** You always bring the alcohol.

 **Team Thor:** i mean, are u complaining nanfriend?

 **Nanette:** Not at all. Merely pointing it out.

 **Vani’s Romeo:** AHHH I CAN’T WAIT

 **Vani Bean:** ME TOO!! :DDD

 **Vani’s Romeo:** im gunna plan all the evnts!!

 **downtown blues:** Wait, whose house are we gonna go to?

 **Vani Bean:** Mine, if everyone’s okay with that ?? I just got the floors redone <3

 **Nanette:** Did you get the pale oak you were talking about?

 **Vani Bean:** Yes yes!! My father stopped by to check it out and he loved it!! <3

 **downtown blues:** We all know Mr. Vega has a taste for architecture. I can’t wait to see it Vani!

 **Team Thor:** ok if we’re going to vani’s we need to figure this out right away: who’s sleeping where?

 **downtown blues:** Agreed!

 **Vani’s Romeo:** dnt nanny and vani share a rm nd we kick it in the livin rm y iz dis a debate?

 **Team Thor:** i think we should mix it up!! for a change!!

 **Vani Bean:** ooo I like the sound of that :00

 **Nanette:** I concur.

 **Vani’s Romeo:** wait wut

 **downtown blues:** Vani pick a number 1-10. Whoever gets the closest to her number gets to share a room with the queen

 **Vani Bean:** aww Roge <3 I’m no queen

 **Nanette:** No, you are the Empress of the Universe Vanilla Vega.

 **Vani Bean:** aww ur making me blush Nettie!! If Nettie says it it has to be true right hehe <3

 **Vani Bean:** Ok! I thought of a number C:

 **Nanette:** 8

 **downtown blues:** 1

 **Team Thor:** 10

 **Vani’s Romeo:** 5????

 **Vani Bean:** Omg you got it Tuck! That was the exact number I picked!!!

 **Vani’s Romeo:** wait forreal????

 **Vani Bean:** Yes omg!!! You know me so well Romeo <3

 **downtown blues:** Jesus I think Tuck’s gonna have a stroke again.

 **Team Thor:** CONGRATULATIONS TUCKER YOU JUST WON THE EXPRESS PRIVILEGE OF SLEEPING ON VANI’S COMFY ASS BED

 **Vani’s Romeo:** what???

 **Vani Bean:** hehe its just a game! You don’t have to if you don’t want to Tuck!

 **Team Thor:** JK NO FUCKING TAKE BACKS NERD.

 **Team Thor:** U WON IT. TAKE UR PRIZE.

 **Vani’s Romeo:** omg ok????????

 **Nanette:** Alright, see you all Friday! My mother is calling I have to go.

 **downtown blues:** Talk to y’all later!

 **Team Thor:** bYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOVE BIRDS

 **Vani Bean:** hehe Ranger >////<

 **Vani’s Romeo:** WTF

 **Vani Bean:** omg You wouldn’t want to be my love bird Romeo? :((

 **Vani’s Romeo:** UH no i mean!!!

 **Vani Bean:** ah i’m just teasing!! Don’t worry Tuck!! I gotta get going <3

 **Vani’s Romeo:** would it be dumb to say

 **Vani’s Romeo:** ah shit. see you Vani!

 

Tucker stared up at the ceiling and let his phone drop down onto his chest. He sighed loudly.

 

_I am such a fucking coward._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor poor tuck. he just can't get a break can he?  
> mweheheheh  
> i think i might make the next chapter a more "traditional" chapter so that we can see what goes on at the sleepover  
> thanks for reading this if you did <3


	6. TUCKER ASK VANI OUT / GIRL TALK | (9/13-9/14)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been awhile and this update doesn't look like it normally should! I don't have internet rn so I'm uploading this from my phone and lemme tell you it's hard to edit on this thing. Anyway ENJOY. 
> 
> SKYPE NAMES:  
> \- Ranger: range rover, road ranger  
> \- Tucker: Vani's Romeo  
> \- Roger: sigh  
> \- Nanette: Nanette  
> \- Vani: Vanilla Supreme
> 
> ft special guests, Ranger's twin younger sisters Rachel and Regina Pellish!  
> \- Rachel: Rachel P  
> \- Regina: on wednesdays we wear pink

**TUCKER ASK VANI OUT**  
_Sunday, September 13, 5:36 PM_

_Invited **range rover** , **sigh** , and **Vani’s Romeo** to chat_

**range rover:** we need to talk about last night

 **Vani’s Romeo:** k bt y does tht sound lyke we need 2 tlk abt a 1nite stnd or smth

 **range rover:** honestly i feel like i need to take you back to grade school

 **range rover:** because you cannot fucking spell

 **range rover:** do you talk to vani like this?

 **Vani's Romeo:** crse nt

 **sigh:** Well, can you talk normally for once?

 **sigh:** This is actually serious.

 **Vani's Romeo:** shit, what’s up roge?

 **range rover:** OH SO YOU’LL TALK CORRECTLY FOR ROGER BUT NOT FOR ME

 **range rover:** THAT’S FUCKED UP

 **range rover:** WHO’S HOUSE DID YOU SPEND YOUR ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL CAREER AT?

 **range rover:** I’VE LISTENED TO YOU SNORE FOR THE BETTER HALF OF MY LIFE

 **range rover:** I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS

 **range rover:** ANAKIN YOU WERE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME

 **Vani's Romeo:** rngr tha only tyme i tlk nrmlly 2 u is ovr txt

 **Vani's Romeo:** i hve a reputation 2 keep

 **range rover:** literally fuck you

 **Vani's Romeo:** wht tyme?

 **range rover:** don’t make promises you won’t keep lover boy

 **range rover:** because you KNOW i will take u up on that

 **Vani's Romeo:** nd strt n incestuous rltshp??

 **Vani's Romeo:** pre sure daz illegal in da state of cali

 **range rover:** i will move to west virginia if you give me that dick tucker, don’t test me.

 **sigh:** ANYWAY GUYS

 **Vani's Romeo:** o yeah roge, what’s serious?

 **range rover:** ok real talk tuck. you have got to ask Vani out.

 **range rover:** it’s getting ridiculous at this point

 **sigh:** Especially after last night. The two of you were practically inseparable.

 **range rover:** more than usual anyway???

 **range rover:** i mean dude i swear vani had a monopoly on your lap

 **sigh:** And when she started getting tired she just fell asleep on you and asked you to carry her to bed.

 **sigh:** AND before you try and argue with me, the two of you cuddled all night

 **range rover:** SHE BROUGHT YOU BREAKFAST IN BED

 **range rover:** AND SHE SLEPT PRACTICALLY NAKED

 **Vani's Romeo:** FNDKSNDJSJDHW SHE DID NOT

 **sigh:** Oh, so, what would you call her sleeping in her panties and one of your shirts that you LEFT AT HER HOUSE BEFORE AND NEVER GOT BACK TUCKER?????

 **range rover:** TBH I THOUGHT YOU GUYS FUCKED BUT YOUR AGGRESSIVE NECK SLITTING MOTION TOLD ME OTHERWISE

 **range rover:** ALSO YOUR SEVERE LACK OF HICKEYS.

 **Vani's Romeo:** OMFG Y WOULD WE FCK IF U GUYZ WRE ALL DERE?????????

 **range rover:** listen. don’t let us stop you from getting a good dicking

 **range rover:** it’s a long time coming anyway

 **sigh:** I mean, I respect the fact that you wouldn’t want to fuck while we were in the house like SOME PEOPLE

 **range rover:** ok that was only like 3 times

 **sigh:** THREE TIMES RANGER???? THAT’S 3 TIMES TOO MANY

 **sigh:** Also wait a minute, what third time?

 **sigh:** I knew about Carla and Earnest but what third time??

 **Vani's Romeo:** We don’t speak of that third time.

 **range rover:** damn, proper grammar and everything

 **range rover:** it’s not my fault you walked in

 **Vani's Romeo:** But it is your fault that you waved to me in reverse cowgirl

 **sigh:** Oh. My. God. Can. We. Stop. This. Conversation.

 **sigh:** My ears. My poor virgin ears.

 **sigh:** Does Nan know about this??

 **range rover:** DON’T TELL NAN HOLY SHIT

 **Vani's Romeo:** I mean she probably already knows Ranger

 **sigh:** Oh my god why not??

 **range rover:** IT WAS ON HER 21ST BIRTHDAY JORUGE KHFDAB I PROMISED I WOULDN’T FUCK ANYONE BUT SHIT HAPPENS

 **sigh:** The hell do you mean “shit happens”?? Did you just trip and fall into a vagina??

 **Vani's Romeo:** More like trip and get impaled by a dick

 **sigh:** Tucker whyyyyyyy

 **range rover:** shut the hell up

 **Vani's Romeo:** What, are you gonna make me, hermosa?

 **range rover:** do you really wanna do this tuck? like really?

 **Vani's Romeo:** As long as you stop talking about me asking Vani out, yes.

 **sigh:** Why are you so against it Tuck? Like you’re literally in love with her?? And she obviously likes you back so what is the problem?

 **Vani's Romeo:** You say “obviously” as though that’s a state of fact when it’s not.

 **Vani's Romeo:** You said she “obviously” had a crush on me when we were 17 and then she went out with Zach Ebony for a year and 6 months.

 **Vani's Romeo:** How is that obvious?

 **range rover:** first of all big guy, that was literally like 8 fucking years ago

 **range rover:** secondly, a year and 6 months is not forever

 **range rover:** thirdly, don’t erase the idea of having crushes on people while in a relationship because that exists and poly people are a thing

 **Vani's Romeo:** But Vani’s not poly

 **range rover:** do you even know that? don’t assume dickhead.

 **Vani's Romeo:** Fine. I’m sorry. Is she?

 **sigh:** Not that she’s told me. She’s a pretty monogamous kind of gal.

 **range rover:** fourthly, finally, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, ZACH EBONY HAD THE BALLS TO ASK HER OUT DICKHEAD

 **range rover:** WHY ARE YOU MAD THAT SHE ACCEPTED? YOU LITERALLY NEVER EXPRESSED HAVING AN INTERESTED IN HER

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Yes I did!!

 **Vani’s Romeo:** You all tell me I’m so obvious!

 **Vani’s Romeo:** And I whine about it to you all all the time!!

 **sigh:** Hate to break it to you Tuck but even I know that being obvious isn’t the same as going up to Vani and saying “Hey, I like you, will you do me the honor of dating me?”

 **range rover:** also if you spent less fucking time whining about how much you adore her and wanna date her and spent more time idk ACTUALLY DATING HER you wouldn’t have to fucking whine about it

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Okay what the hell do either of you know about dating?

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Or even having a fucking crush on someone

 **range rover:** oo touchy touchy. is someone mad we called him out?

 **Vani’s Romeo:** fuck you

 **sigh:** I’ve totally had crushes before don’t lump me with that freak

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Okay but have you ever asked someone out before?

 **sigh:** Yes. I have. I got rejected. I moved on.

 **range rover:** SEE TUCKER. EVEN ROGE HAS HAD THE GUTS TO ASK SOMEONE OUT. YOU HAVE 0 EXCUSES

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Alright wise guy what’s your excuse?? You’re too fucking good for romance or something??

 **range rover:** one: yes

 **range rover:** two: i’ve never really had a crush on anyone before? like are you gonna get mad at me that my heart doesn’t go doki doki whenever i see someone or some shit

 **range rover:** i’d rather just fuck, you know that

 **range rover:** but we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you

 **Vani’s Romeo:** That’s bullshit. I swear you have to have had a crush on someone at least once in your miserable little life

 **sigh:** Tucker seriously, what has gotten into you?

 **range rover:** he’s like a wild animal. if you put him in a corner he’ll lash out

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Literally and actually fuck you. You don’t fucking know me.

 **range rover:** OH? I don’t fucking know you??

 **Vani’s Romeo:** Shit Ranger wait

 **range rover:** You wanna drive over here and fucking say that to my face Tucker?

 **range rover:** Because I will give you my fucking address. I want you to look me in the fucking eyes and tell me that I don’t know a damn thing about you.

 **sigh:** Holy shit.

_range rover is typing..._

**range rover:** You wanna tell the guy who’s always been fucking here for you, who gave you a home when your parents fucking kicked you out, who’s done nothing but fucking care about you and watch your back and listen to your goddamn problems your whole fucking life that I don’t fucking know you? So I don’t know that for 12 years you were so scared of the dark that any time you slept over you cried yourself to sleep unless me or my mom fucking held you? I don’t know that you actually can’t stand cheeseburgers but you ate one every day in middle school because that was Vani’s favorite food at the time? I don’t know that you have a birthmark in the shape of South America on your ass?

 **sigh:** You do?

 **range rover:** It’s a testament to how many times I’ve seen him naked. And not because we were fucking but because I helped you patch up the beatings your uncle gave you. And you begged me not to fucking tell anyone, and I fucking haven’t, not even my fucking mother, Tuck. What kind of best friend do you fucking take me for? I’m sorry you’re all “defensive” about asking Vani out but me and Roge - and Nan for that matter - just want the fucking best for you and we want you to idk BE HAPPY YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD. So if you’re gonna keep acting like some ungrateful prick then I’m done here. Roger, you talk to him.

_range rover has left the chat_

**sigh:** … Well. Um.

 **sigh:** I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen Ranger explode like that…

 **sigh:** Usually nothing ever bothers him. Unless it’s your bad grammar.

 **sigh:** …. Hello?

 **sigh:** Tuck?

 **sigh:** Are you gonna go pout about this too?

_Vani’s Romeo has left the chat_

**sigh:** Goddammit. I guess I’ll text Nan.

 

* * *

 

**GIRL TALK**

_Monday, September 14, 12:30pm_

_Invited **Nanette** , **Vanilla Supreme** , **road ranger** , **Rachel P** , and **on wednesdays we wear pink** to chat_

**Nanette:** So… What exactly is the meaning of this?

 **Vanilla Supreme:** oh! rach! reggie! it’s been awhile since i’ve talked to you guys! c:

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** VANI!!! ohmigod I’ve missed you soooooooo much ; A; Everyone here is fashion challenged!!! Come back home and grace me with your beautyyyyy ; A;

 **Rachel P:** i rly dnt have time 2 tlk rn but that asshole said it was important

 **road ranger:** love you too godzilla, jesus

 **road ranger:** what do you even have to do anyway??

 **road ranger:** sports or some jock shit??

 **Rachel P:** no. i actuly hve a date 2nite

 **Rachel P:** veg has been way 2 excited abt gettin me ready

 **Rachel P:** wn rly im jus goin bc he said hed buy me food

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** ISN’T THAT EXCITING THO RANGE???

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** OUR RACHEL

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** GOING ON A REAL DATE

 **road ranger:** EWWW SOMEONE ASKED YOU OUT

 **road ranger:** THAT’S GROSS

 **Rachel P:** yeh that’s wht i said but veggie insisted i go

 **Rachel P:** she convinced me w/ free food

 **Nanette:** I thought you were aromantic as well, Rachel?

 **Rachel P** : eh i dunno. im still tryna figur it out. thanh was helpin me

 **Rachel P:** u kno how he gez vani

 **Vanilla Supreme:** ahhhh of course i do! that’s my baby brother for you  <3 im glad ur figuring it out more rach!

 **Rachel P:** ah thanks vani

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** awwwwww rachey is blushing  <3

 **road ranger:** ok while this is all well nd good. i have called u all here for a reason

 **road ranger:** specifically for

 **road ranger:** girl talk

 **Rachel P:** do we suddenly hve an older sister now. yru here then

 **Nanette:** Rachel does make a good point.

 **road ranger:** listen. y’all know i’m one of the girls, not one of the guys. what do you take me for??

 **Vanilla Supreme:** i thought you could fit into both crowds ranger danger!! C:

 **road ranger:** AWW VANI YOU PEACH

 **road ranger:** remind me to buy you yet another thing for your birthday

 **Vanilla Supreme:** eh?? my birthday isn’t until february ;////; you don’t have to do that

 **road ranger:** no vani. i must buy you ALL the things.

 **road ranger:** i’ve been getting u stuff since may.

 **Vanilla Supreme:** awww rangeeeeeerrr ;3; you're gonna make me cryyyyyyy ;3;

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** Awww no tears Vani!!!! You'll make me cry

 **Rachel P:** i s2g dont fucken start cryin

 **Nanette:** What exactly did you bring us all here for Ranger? It's pretty rare that you call your sisters in for quote unquote “girl talk.”

 **road ranger:** u do realize that you don't have to say quote unquote if you're typing it right?

 **Nanette:** You do realize you need to capitalize the beginning of every sentence correct? For one that's such a stickler for grammar you break its rules often.

 **road ranger:** touché. but it's for the aesthetic™. plus it's tuck’s incompetency at spelling that's the problem here

 **Nanette:** Speaking of Tucker, I heard you two got into a fight yesterday.

 **Vanilla Supreme:** you guys what???? oh no range what happened??? :(((

 **road ranger:** he was being a fucking dickhead

 **Rachel P:** u probly were 2 wats the big deal this time

 **Nanette:** According to Roger you “flipped out.”

 **road ranger:** …

 **road ranger:** maybe a little

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** omg why. Tuck’s like our other brother??

 **road ranger:** that jackass had the audacity to say i didn't fucking know him

 **road ranger:** as if i don't know him better than any fucking body

 **road ranger:** me and roge were trying to give him advice and he got all in his fucking feelings about it.

 **Nanette:** Advice about what?

 **road ranger:** what else?

 **Vanilla Supreme:** eh??? I feel like I'm missing something here :CC

 **Rachel P:** me 2

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** ohhhhhh

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** you know he always gets defensive about that

 **road ranger:** that's not a fucking excuse

 **Nanette:** Have you talked to him since then?

 **road ranger:** no

 **road ranger:** i’m not talking to him until he fucking apologizes

 **road ranger:** for being a fucking shithead

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** well, good luck with that. Tucker’s just as stubborn as you

 **Vanilla Supreme:** I don't know what's going on but I hope you two make up soon! :ccc I don't like it when you two fight :c it makes everything else feel wrong

 **Vanilla Supreme:** it's like the foundations of our group are breaking :cc I don't like the feeling

 **road ranger:** ah… i’m sorry vanivee. ugh i just. I know he was upset but he fucking. ugh.

 **Nanette:** Things will heal with time. I think the two of you need space from each other right now. I’m going to message Tuck anyway to check on him.

 **road ranger:** … make sure he's alright

 **Nanette:** You know I will.

 **Rachel P:** luv the bonding moments guys rly but wat r we here 2 tlk about. i gtta run in 5

 **road ranger:** i’m not gonna beat around the bush: vani do you like tucker?

 **road ranger:** and yes I mean “like-like”

 **Vanilla Supreme:** eh???? ///// where did this come from all of a sudden????

 **Vanilla Supreme:** ah I mean…. I um

 **Vanilla Supreme:** this is embarrassing!! ;/////;

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** Aww baby’s first crush  <3 this is so cuteeee

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Actually it's not! My first crush was on ranger tbh ;///////;

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Bc… you know… you were there for me before anyone else knew… about me being trans I mean

 **Vanilla Supreme:** you always made me feel beautiful :’)

 **road ranger:** my hEART

 **road ranger:** I AM UNWORTHY OF YOUR LOVE VANI

 **Rachel P:** damn right. I can't believe you liked this bug

 **road ranger:** oh shut the hell up

 **Rachel P:** anyway i gotta go but Vee?

 **Vanilla Supreme:** yes Rachel?? .0.

 **Rachel P:** i dunno that much about romance but. if u like him i think u should go for it.

 **Rachel P:** see ya guys

 **Rachel P:** im gonna get free food and break a guy's heart

 **road ranger:** TEXT ME THE DETAILS IF HE PUTS HIS HANDS ON YOU ILL BREAK HIS SPINE

 **Rachel P:** not if i do first

 **Nanette:** I raised her well.

 **Rachel P:** u kno it nan ;)

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** DESTROY HIM RACHEY

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** I GAVE YOU EYELINER THAT COULD KILL A MAN

 **Vanilla Supreme:** ooooo what brand???

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** just e.l.f nothin too fancy

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** like hell am I letting her use my expensive stuff. EVEN I BARELY TOUCH IT

 **Vanilla Supreme:** aww but what's the fun of it if you don't use it!! Regina we have to go shopping together one day  <3

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** OO CAN IT BE A VLOG

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** MY FRIENDS DONT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I KNOW YOU

 **Vanilla Supreme:** aww of course!!! Just for you  <3

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** I can go to heaven now

 **road ranger:** you never answered my question vaniiiiiii~~~~

 **road ranger:** do you liiiiiiike him~~~?

 **Vanilla Supreme:** ahhhh range //////

 **Nanette:** Well?

 **Vanilla Supreme:** … is it that obvious?? ;/////; -hides face in hands-

 **road ranger:** AWWWWWWW

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** PRECIOUS

 **Nanette:** And all of our suspicions were confirmed.

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Naaaaaan you already know this!!! I told you ;////;

 **road ranger:** wHAT you told nan but not me????

 **Nanette:** Like you said, Ranger. Girl talk.

 **road ranger:** don't get smug with me young lady

 **Vanilla Supreme:** why do you ask??? ;/////;

 **road ranger:** please ask him out. he's too much of an idiot to do it himself

 **Vanilla Supreme:** eh????? He likes me????? What??????

 **Nanette:** Trust me, Vani. Ranger isn't lying. Tucker likes you quite a bit.

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** it's honestly insane

 **Vanilla Supreme:** !!!!!! Even Reggie thinks so????

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** trust me I KNOW so

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Well i mean… I can try… Um… testing the waters a bit?? If you all are sure ;///////;

 **road ranger:** HALLELUJAH. MAYBE THIS CAN GO SOMEWHERE. PROJECT VANILLA SUNSET IS A GO

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Omg Vanilla sunset??? That's kinda cute ;/////;

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** lol that's you guy’s ship name on the internet

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** I'm president of the fan club ;DDD

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Oh my goodness there's a internet ship????? Ahhhh my heart ;//////; this is too much for meeeee ;//////; -squeals-

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** i would stay away from Tumblr tho

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Regina what do you take me for, some sort of fool

 **road ranger:** IM SO RELIEVED my work here is done i can breathe again

 **Nanette:** I’m glad you're breathing honey.

 **road ranger:** ahhhhhh nan called me honey im blush

 **Vanilla Supreme:** Actually Nettie? If ranger was a girl would you date him??

 **Nanette:** He’d be a handful, as usual, but probably.

 **road ranger:** IM BLUSHING A LOT NANFRIEND

 **Nanette:** Good.

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** as much as I would love to stay and chat I gotta go stalk Rach’s date!!

 **road ranger:** keep me posted lil sis

 **on wednesdays we wear pink:** gotcha ;D

 **Nanette:** Ranger would you mind coming over? Actually Vani too? I’m having a… wardrobe malfunction...

 **road ranger:** **oh god nan what does that mean**

 **Vanilla Supreme:** I'm getting in my car Nettie. I’ll see you in 10.

 **road ranger:** jfc i’m calling an uber don't TOUCH ANYTHING

 **Nanette:** I wasn't planning on it. See you two soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooo a fight and vani likes Tucker!!! We're getting somewhere guys ;DD


	7. WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON (9/20 | 6:30pm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranger and Tucker are still fighting; the rest of the gang is doing their best to sort it out.
> 
> SKYPE NAMES:  
> Ranger: who cares you know who i am anyway  
> Tucker: tarvak gilfensparrow  
> Vani: Vanibee  
> Nanette: Nanette  
> Roger: return of the sis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *crawls in half dead and exhausted with chapter clutched tightly in a bloody fist*  
> i... i've done it  
> *collapses*  
> yeah so sorry i've been gone for a million years (to the few people that read this?? if anyone does?? i guess??)  
> but a lot of shitty things happened to me in a short amount of time so it was really hard for me to have the time to write  
> let alone the creativity and motivation  
> but i'm trying to start writing more now, and this is a start :)

**WHO’S SIDE ARE YOU ON?**

_ Thursday, September 20, 6:30pm _

 

**Nanette:** Alright.

**Nanette:** This has gone on for long enough. 

**return of the sis:** ?? What has??

**Vanibee:** probably whatever is going on between tucker and ranger. neither of them will really come in the chat anymore and it’s making me sad :((((

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** i dun wanna mke u sd vanivee

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** but i dun wanna tlk 2 rngr 

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** hez bin an asshole 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** i love how even when we’re arguing you still don’t have the decency to spell my name right

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** maybe i should start calling you tkr

**return of the sis:** OK. This is getting pretty ridiculous

**return of the sis:** Why can’t you guys just talk out your problems like normal humans sometime?? Instead of just making seriously bad jabs at each other

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** m not mkn jabs at rngr

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** m jus not tlkn 2 him 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** whats with your stupid ass screen name anyway?

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** it looks like something you would see some ugly geek squad reject call their main character in league of legends

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** nanny will u tll rngr to fuk off 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** why don’t you just fucking tell me to fuck off you pussy ass bitch

**Vanibee:** pls don’t fight guys :((( what even happened why are you two so angry anyway?

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** remember when we had girl talk like last week

**return of the sis:** You guys had girl talk without me??

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** ye sorry i thought you were talking to that asshole or something

**Nanette:** If we’re just going to invite everyone to girl talk, what’s the point of calling it girl talk?

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** the reason we call it “girl talk” is because that’s when we gossip.

**Nanette:** Then what is this chatroom for?

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** who cares when it’s rngr dcidng shit nyway

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** well i never see you offering the group with intelligent ideas or entertainment so if you got a problem with it maybe you should step up

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** roge wll u tll rngr to stfu

**return of the sis:** Oh no, I’m not getting involved in this

**Nanette:** Will the both of you stop acting like children? Last time I checked all of us were adults in this chat room. 

**return of the sis:** It does feel like we’ve gone back to middle school…

**return of the sis:** Ugh can we not I had really terrible braces back then

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** we all remember your shitty braces roge

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** i rmbr wen u got ur braces stuk on a magnet gena rose brought 4 career day

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** lmao wait why the fuck did gena rose bring a magnet for career day 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** is the magnet her father?? what??

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** lololol she said da magnet was her mthr

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** waz suppsed 2 represent hr or somthin cuz hr mum waz a magnet-tologist

**Nanette:** Is that even an occupation?

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** lmao idk

**return of the sis:** The technical term is probably “geomagnetist”

**Vanibee:** wat’s that?? :00

**return of the sis:** According to the Oxford Dictionary it’s someone who is an expert in magnetism regarding the Earth’s magnetic field?? Basically?

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** this is so oddly specific

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** ye wtf

**Nanette:** I’m glad the two of you have calmed down enough to at least have a genuine conversation.

 

_ 5 minutes later _

 

**Vanibee:** …. y did everything get so quiet?? ://

**return of the sis:** I think they forgot that they were supposed to be mad at each other and now they’re going to sulk

**Vanibee:** uGH this is so silly!!! Why can’t you guys just make up already????

**Vanibee:** what even happened??? >(((

**return of the sis:** Ranger and I were talking to Tuck about a thing… and then Tuck started getting defensive, which made Ranger get pissed at him. Then Tucker said something really terrible to Ranger…

**Nanette:** What did he say?

**return of the sis:** He said that Ranger didn’t know him at all…

**Vanibee:** o…. that probably really hurt ranger danger…

**Nanette:** Hm definitely. Aside from myself, Tuck is essentially Ranger’s closest friend.

_ tarvak gilfensparrow has left the conversation _

**Nanette:** … Well, there goes Tucker.

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** what a fucking bitch

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** ever since he started taking anger management classes he’s just bitched out of every confrontation ever

**return of the sis:** Um??? That’s probably a good thing?? So he doesn’t like??? Idk rip your head off??

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** WELL LISTEN i’d rather he fucking blow up at me than him just tapping out every time we have a fucking  ***slight*** disagreement

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** like he always does this shit

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** every time someone has a problem with anything he does he just fucking closes off and doesn’t try to explain his fucking point 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** HE KNOWS HES WRONG ANYWAY 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** IF HE DIDN’T THERE’D BE NO REASON TO LEAVE THE CHAT

**Nanette:** I’m gonna have to cut you off there, Ranger.

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** why

**Nanette:** I understand where you’re coming from, Ranger, but I don’t think Tucker meant that you “didn’t know him” in the sense that you’re thinking of.

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** and?

**Nanette:** I can’t speak for him, but I would assume that he meant you don’t know him, as in, you don’t know how he’s feeling.

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** how the hell do i not, all he fucking does is complain about how he’s feeling.

**Vanibee:** well… i know tuck is rlly insecure??

**return of the sis:** Yeah, he’s insecure and has a hard time believing that people want to care about Hm.

**return of the sis:** *him

**return of the sis:** Never buy an Apple phone guys

**Vanibee:** speaking of apple!! Did you know that recently ppl have discovered that Apple purposefully makes their phones hard to repair??

**Nanette:** It seems the masses have caught onto something I’ve known for a long time now.

**Vanibee:** ?? nettie u knew???

**Nanette:** I used to have an iPhone, and when the screen cracked the man at the Apple store tried to insist upon selling me a new iPhone when he could’ve just replaced my screen.

**Nanette:** I went to one of my friends who’s into engineering and he fixed my phone’s screen in under 5 minutes.

**Nanette:** I went and bought a new phone about month later because the charging port wasn’t working anymore and I didn’t feel like dealing with the clowns at the Apple store.

**Nanette:** But I figured Apple wasn’t all it was cracked up to be after that experience.

**return of the sis:** Haha get it “cracked up”

**Nanette:** Roger that was horrible.

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** if he’s so damn insecure why didn’t he just say so or something

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** instead of being such a huge fucking dick about it

**Vanibee:** i’m sure he was just…. yknow, flustered? :(( i’m sure he didn’t mean to be a dick!! tucker would never do that :((

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** of course you would defend him.

**Nanette:** Ranger, watch your mouth.

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** what, are you gonna make me? 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** are you gonna threaten to call my fucking mother again, Nanette?

**return of the sis:** JESUS, Ranger what is with your attitude man? We’re not trying to attack you

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** of fucking course your not. like why is it always my job to fucking sympathize with people? tuck hasn’t been thinking about how much he hurt my fucking feelings so why should i give a damn if i hurt his? 

**Vanibee:** bc he’s your friend?? Ranger… :((

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** AM I NOT HIS

**Vanibee:** range, that’s- that’s not what i meant…

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** OR AM I JUST SOMEONE TO VENT TO WHEN IT’S FUCKING CONVENIENT

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** you know what, fuck this. fuck this whole thing. i’m done i’m fucking done i’m going to fucking work 

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** and if tucker’s bitch ass decides he wants to come back into the chat, tell him that he’s a fucking piece of shit

**who cares you know who i am anyway:** i’m gonna go drown myself in beer and bad decisions

_ who cares you know who i am anyway has left the chat _

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** iznt he a ray of fukin sunshine

**return of the sis:** Tuck??

**Vanibee:** ur back!! :)

**Nanette:** I’m gonna try calling Ranger.

**Nanette:** Tucker… I don’t really know what to tell you right now, but you’ve really hurt him. I know you’re upset, but I think it’d be good for both of you to try talking it out.

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** k but he rly hurt me 2

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** hez such an inconsiderate asshole

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** evrythin alwys gtta b abt him

**Nanette:** …

**Nanette:** I’ll talk to you all later.

_ Nanette has left the chat _

**return of the sis:** Well. This has gone swimmingly.

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** idk wat tha big deal is nywy anymor

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** m not gnna apologize

**Vanibee:** but Tuck… :(

**Vanibee:** even tho i dont really know whats going on, i feel like maybe both of you guys were in the wrong

**Vanibee:** Range was just trying to look out for you :((

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** but y iz it ny of his business tho?

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** ugh. it’s not like i try to give him advice on his love life.

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** ranger is what ranger does, yknow?

**return of the sis:** Yes, but the thing is, Ranger doesn’t really  ***want*** a romantic relationship like you do?? So what advice would you give him

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** idk?? use protection??

**return of the sis:** Wow, how original.

**Vanibee:** ranger has never tried to do anything but help you in the past tuck :( why would that change now

**return of the sis:** Furthermore, his advice was pretty solid if you ask me.

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** i didn’t.

**Vanibee:** please tuck. at least think about talking to him. when you guys are upset it makes everyone upset in the end. 

**return of the sis:** We’re all best friends at the end of the day right? So… Even if you need some time to really cool off and think about everything, at least try?

**tarvak gilfensparrow:** … Fine. I’ll think about it.

_ tarvak gilfensparrow has left the chat _

**return of the sis:** Well, Vani, we did our best

**Vanibee:** yeah… i really don’t like that they’re fighting tho… :(

**Vanibee:** i know all of us have disagreements sometimes but… it’s always the worst when the two of them fight. it always gets so explosive :/

**return of the sis:** Tell me about it. It’s a fucking headache ‘cause they’re so stubborn. 

**Vanibee:** exactly…

**Vanibee:** i wish i knew how to help more… if only i really knew what the argument was about…

**return of the sis:** Well… Tuck’s already angry right now, I don’t think he’d want me to talk about it more… might make him more upset…

**Vanibee:** yea… I understand :((

**Vanibee:** it still makes me sad tho. i feel like i’m powerless to help some of the people i really care about :((

**return of the sis:** Don’t worry Vani! It’ll all be alright in a couple of days, I’m sure

**return of the sis:** They do get really mad at each other sometimes but it never lasts that long

**Vanibee:** i know… but i can’t help but worry that it’ll last this time yknow? :/ i don’t think tuck and range are gonna stop being friends but…

**return of the sis:** They’re practically brothers. Brothers fight. 

**Vanibee:** i know!! but even family can get upset and separate sometimes.

**Vanibee:** the whole thing makes me anxious idk…

**return of the sis:** Well for now, all we can do is try to support both of them right? My sister’s in town actually and she keeps bugging me to take her out to eat somewhere so I’m gonna be gone for a couple of hours… But Vani, maybe you should try talking to Tucker. He really cares about your opinion and you can always cheer him up.

**Vanibee:** yeah…. yeah you’re right! I can try talking to him some! Maybe helping him cheer up will help him think about the situation more calmly :’)

**Vanibee:** i could even try to convince him to come to my yoga class with me tomorrow!

**return of the sis:** Lol good luck with that! You know Tucker loves his sleep

**Vanibee:** it’s because he streams so late at night :(( i told him he should get more sleep it’s bad for his health and skin!

**return of the sis:** Well, I guess it’s par for the course since he’s basically a pro gamer. I always go to bed at like 8 lmao

**Vanibee:** well roge, you really have to start living a little…

**return of the sis:** Hey! What’s that supposed to mean??

**Vanibee:** when’s the last time you went out?? or had a date?? 

**return of the sis:** um. 

**Vanibee:** see!!!!!!!!! you need to get out there roge!! as much as we all love mittens you can’t just hole yourself up at your job and home!!

**Vanibee:** i just don’t want you to get lonely :((((

**return of the sis:** Trust me Vani, I’m never bored with this chat and you guys around.

**Vanibee:** awww :’)

**Vanibee:** that’s sweet roge but no dice

**Vanibee:** OMG i’m gonna set you up a tindr profile!!

**return of the sis:** PLEASE DON’T OH MY GOD

**Vanibee:** come on roge it’ll be fun!! omg i can make it into a video for my side channel!! we can even have mittens in it!!

**Vanibee:** pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?????

**return of the sis:** UGHHH Fine >.> You win. 

**return of the sis:** Shit. Kim’s bugging me. Gotta run! Make sure you talk to Tucker!  
  
**Vanibee:** heehee Roger that!

**return of the sis:** Ah, I see what you did there haha XD

**return of the sis:** Good one Vani lol XD

**Vanibee:** I try ;D Talk to you soon!! 

**return of the sis:** Bye :DD


	8. WAKE UP CALL / BROS ALWAYS MAKE UP (9/20)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Current Skype Names:
> 
> Ranger: !!!  
> Roger: return of the sis  
> Vani: Vanibee  
> Nanette: Nanette  
> Tucker: just tuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve literally had months of trouble trying to write this chapter and I’ve finally managed to finish something for it. Ughhhhhh  
> I kinda hate it and may rewrite later but I just wanted to make it happen so I can get on with the rest of everything!  
> Sorry it’s been so long;;;;;;

_Thursday, September 20, 10:15pm_

 

 **!!!:** guys

 **!!!:** guys this is serious

 **!!!:** i’m seriously freaking out right now

 **return of the sis:** Just exclamation points?

 **!!!:** fuck you ok, can you just. can you just like listen to me. i’m really about to fucking hyperventilate.

 **return of the sis:** Shit man, what’s wrong?

 **!!!:** HE’S HERE AGAIN

 **return of the sis:** Who???? Who is here??

 **!!!:** YOUFUCKING KNOW WHO YOU PIECE OF SHI T WHO ELS E

 **Vanibee:** wat’s happening ranger danger?? is something wrong??

 **return of the sis:** I don’t know?? Who??

 **!!!:** I’M AT WORK WHO ELSE WOULD I BE FREAKING OUT ABOUT BEING HERE??

 **return of the sis:** The CEO guy??

 **!!!:** YES YES HELP ME OKAY

 **!!!:** I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO VOMIT

 **Vanibee:** oh my god ranger are you okay??

 **!!!:** NO

 **!!!:** IM NOT OK

 **!!!:** IFUCKING SNUK OUT LAST TIME AND HE DIDNT KNOW AND HE S BEEN WATCHING ME FOR LIKE N HOUR IN THE STUPIDEST DISGUISE EVER HELP ME WHAT DO I DO

 **just tuck:** i h8 2 say i told u so bt…

 **!!!:** LITERALLY FUCK YOU. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW.

 **!!!:** IVE BEEN HIDING UNDER THE BAR FOR 15 MINUTES

 **!!!:** JACKIE THINKS IM CRAZY

 **Nanette:** Did you tell your coworkers or boss what’s going on?

 **!!!:** NO

 **!!!:** MY BOSS WOULD FIRE ME ON THE SPOT AND I DONT WANNA LOSE MY JOB ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE

 **Nanette:** Ranger, can you breathe for me? You need to calm down. You could take off early. You have at least 30 days of sick leave.

 **!!!:** BUT WHAT IF HE FOLLOWS ME WHEN I LEAVE

 **!!!:** nan i’m so scared right now i’m so fucking scared

 **return of the sis:** I’m stuck at work right now, I can’t leave because of this stupid fucking project!!

 **return of the sis:** Can anyone get to Ranger right now??

 **!!!:** i don’t want any of you guys to get hurt im just

 **!!!:** fuck, tuck’s probably right this is all my fault anyways

 **!!!:** everything’s my fucking fault anyway and i’m so dumb and useless

 **!!!:** maybe if i wasn’t such a sex crazed horny idiot this wouldn’t have happened i’m so scared to leave my fucking job this is fucking pathetic lmaooooo

 **Nanette:** Ranger, this isn’t something that you should be beating yourself up over. You’re not an idiot. It’s not your fault that this guy is doing what he’s doing. You didn’t ask for him to stalk you.

 **!!!:** no but i had it coming right??

 **Vanibee:** Ranger don’t say that!!! :(( stop victim blaming yourself!!!

 

_10:30 PM_

 

 **Vanibee:** Ranger??????

 **return of the sis:** Shit ddi he leave the chat??

 **return of the sis:** *did

 **return of the sis:** Sorry I’m panicking

 **Nanette:** Ranger.

 **Nanette:** Ranger?

 **Vanibee:** Ranger answer us!!!!! :((((( WHat is going on????? :(((((((

 **Nanette:** I tried calling him. It went straight to voicemail.

 **return of the sis:** Does anyone have any of his coworker’s numbers??

 **return of the sis:** I tired calling Crafton s but no one answered.

 **Nanette:** Call them again.

 **return of the sis:** *tried. Shit. Yeah.

 **Vanibee:** What should I do?????

 **Nanette:** Vani, try to stay calm.

 **Vanibee:** I CAN’T!!! WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED!!!!

 

_10:45PM_

 

 **Vanibee:** RANGER?????!!!!!

 

\--

 **_Today_ ** _10:50 PM_

 

**From: Tucker Hayes**

hey nan gimme croftons address again

**To: Tucker Hayes**

XXXX Vaporwire St. Are you going?

 

 **_Today_ ** _11:00 PM_

**To: Tucker Hayes**

Keep him safe.

 

\--

 

    “If you keep hiding in the back Pellish, you aren’t gonna get any fucking tips.” The dark skinned woman peeked her head in the back, a disappointing scowl on her face. Something happened earlier when a particular patron walked in. Jackie had never seen them before, but the second Ranger saw him his face went white as a sheet and he ducked underneath the bar and hid between the wine bottles, furiously texting someone on his phone. When Sandra - manager on duty for tonight - called him out on his shit, he simply crawled into the back, never once letting his head peek out over the bar. As far as Jackie was concerned, this had gone on _far_ long enough-- they needed their best barkeep back on his A-Game. There was too many newbies on the floor tonight, Ranger was their only hope.

    “I don’t care.” Jackie frowned harder. That wasn’t like him. Normally he was either ranting about his dream penthouse, joking with someone, or chatting up any pretty face that flounced in his direction. Hiding in the back with his head in his hands wasn’t like him.

    A more direct approach was needed.

    “Sandra’s let you off the hook for right now but if you aren’t out in 5 you’ll be suspended for a week.”

    “Can’t you tell her to fuck off?”

    “No, pretty boy, we need you out there! Half the damn servers are new and don’t know what the fuck they’re doing and the bar is as dry as my goddamn pussy! Get out there and fucking liven up the place!” Jackie grabbed him by the arm and started to tug, but Ranger was unusually strong when he wanted to be, and he yanked his arm out of her grasp as quickly as she held it.

    “Fuck off okay! I’m not in the fucking mood!”

    “Why’d you come to work today then?! Just call out dickhead! We don’t have anyone to replace you now so just get out there!” She grabbed his shoulders again and Ranger growled, trying to wrangle himself out of her grasp.

    “Just-. Let-. Go-. Of-. Me--!” Jackie wrangled him halfway out of the back and out onto the bar - Ranger kicking and screaming all the way - when a sudden, familiar voice startled Ranger into stillness.

 

    “Hey, Ranger here tonight?”

 

\--

 

    Ranger hesitantly went up to the bar, not quite sure of what he was seeing. “Tuck… Tuck is that you?”

    “One Long Island Iced Tea, to start off.” Tucker winked at him and Jackie smiled, already seeming to know where this was going. She fluttered off to deal with some more patrons, already cooing at the ones getting giggly, and Ranger wrinkled his brows, but reached under the bar, doing the motions on autopilot.

    He _sounded_ like Tucker-- he had the same slightly accented, deep voice that was always somewhat hoarse from his gamer rages. It was sexy in it’s own right, at the right time of day. But he didn’t really… _look_ like Tucker. His usually messy, dark hair was slicked back and styled, a look he hadn’t seen since high school prom, but one that suited his squarer jaw and broader frame _much_ better than it did when he was 17. He was a little stubbly, but clean - and Ranger could smell the aftershave almost a mile away. Damn, did he know Calvin Klein’s was his favorite brand? Tuck cleaned up good - _too_ good. His white v-neck dipped _just_ low enough that Ranger could see the beginnings of his chest, and the leather jacket he wore accented the whole look _too_ _fucking well_.

   

    Ranger had always known Tucker was attractive. He just didn’t know what warranted all of. Well. _This_.

   

    He slid Tucker’s drink across the bar, and he downed it in a single gulp. All that hard work… A wolfish grin overtook Tucker’s face and he slid the glass back across the bar with a raised eyebrow -- issuing a challenge. “Now you can gimme the good stuff.”

    “What the hell are you doing here?” Ranger hissed. He filled his glass with the aforementioned “good stuff”, and let Tucker knock it back like it was a shot, if only to see his Adam’s apple bob as he drank, and wonder exactly what the _fuck_ his best friend, current enemy, was doing here.

    “Looking out for your sorry ass.” Tucker let his voice drop a register, and he leaned in closer on his elbows. Figuring it was something he wanted to keep between them, Ranger leaned in as well.

    “Look. Just act like I’m another customer. Chat me up. Make it convincing. When you get off, I’ll make it seem like I’m taking you home for the night and then I’ll take you home. Or to Nan’s. And then she can take you home. Boom. Problem solved.” Seeming satisfied with himself, Tucker leaned back in his chair and offered Ranger a smirk. “Shouldn’t be too hard to act like you’re into me, right?”

    “I resent that remark.” Ranger rolled his eyes, pulling out two shot glasses, filling them up with whiskey. “I know you do, handsome.” Tucker chuckled. “But you can play along can’t you?”

 

\--

 

_11:20 PM_

 

 **Vanibee:** We haven’t heard from Nettie, Ranger, or Tucker in almost 30 minutes I’m literally going to have a panic attack roge!!!

 **return of the sis:** I wish I could say something comforting Vani but Nan’s not answering her phone and I’m worried…

 **just tuck:** chill out broskis. im with ranger.

_just tuck sent (1) picture_

**Vanibee:** OH THANK GOD

 **Vanibee:** Tuck you had no idea how worried I was!!!!

 **return of the sis:** Holy shit tucker thank god. Is he ok?

 **just tuck:** still shaken. m tryna get him to relax.

 **just tuck:** still no contact with nanny?

 **Nanette:** I’m here. What’s your plan?

 **just tuck:** jus gonna pretend to be some guy trying to pick ranger up. when he gets off, i take him home. or back to your place or something.

 **Nanette:** And what about the CEO?

 **just tuck:** he’s in this really fucken shitty disgusie lmao. if he reveals who he is he’ll be in an akwward spot

 **!!!:** who the fuck taught you to spell? i’m going to personally eradicate them.

 **just tuck:** lol did you go to the bathroom just to check the msgs?? or am i making you too hot and bothered? ;3

 **Vanibee:** RANGER!!!!!! *HUGS A MILLION TIMES*

 **!!!:** vaniiiiii <3

 **!!!:** also fuck you.

 **just tuck:** something wrong hermosa~?

 **!!!:** we are not doing this here i will end your life.

 **!!!:** what else do you want to drink fucker?

 **just tuck:** water. i need 2 b able 2 drive yknow

 **!!!:** its not like you can’t take it. fucker.

 **Nanette:** This is the best mood I’ve seen Ranger in in almost a week.

 **Vanibee:** i know right??? Does that mean you guys made up???

 **just tuck:** no time for that. i’ll. we’ll talk about that later.

 **!!!:** thanks for worrying about me guys. it means a lot.

 **return of the sis:** Of course! I’m just sorry we couldn’t do more.

 **!!!:** nah listening and being here for me is enough. and getting tucker to take his head out of his ass to help is a bonus.

 **Vanibee:** None of him told him to do this :00 He did it all on his own! We didn’t even know he was there until he sent us a picture!

 **Nanette:** I knew because he asked me for the address but I didn’t tell him to.

 

\--

 

    Ranger looked up from his phone, surprised. Tucker wasn’t looking at him, he was instead sipping from his glass disinterestedly. After their heated round of shots that got half of the bar on their feet, they’d calmed down from drinking some. From the corner of his eyes, Ranger could still see that bastard _watching_ him, but he honestly felt much, _much_ safer with Tucker there with him. He didn’t really know why it was a _shock_ that he would do something like this for him… But maybe it was just because of their fight that he got holed up in feeling like he was losing one of his best friends.

    Ranger let out a breath. “I’m sorry, Tuck.”

    “For what?” Tuck still wouldn’t look at him, and Ranger felt the embarrassment threatening to swallow him. But he’d get through it. Tucker was doing more than enough to show him he still cared. The least he could do was stumble through a fucking apology.

    “For trying to… I dunno, police your relationship with Vani. Yeah, I want you to be happy but that doesn’t give me an excuse to be a dick about it.”

     “Well. Wasn’t what I was expecting you to say but I’ll take it.” Tucker turned back to the bar and leaned on it with a smile. “I’m sorry for getting so defensive. I shouldn’t have said what I said. You’re still my best friend, man.” Ranger rolled his eyes. “Don’t forget to say ‘no homo’ or people will think we’re _gay_.”

     “No way dude. This is full homo. The second you get off I’m taking you to the dance floor and you’ll see why I get girls to call me _papi_ all night long.”

     “ _Ewwww_ cocky does not look good on you stop.”

     “You didn’t seem to have a problem with me chatting you up earlier.”

     “This is what I get for trying to have a good moment.” Ranger turned to speak with a coworker walking by for a moment, then he turned back to Tucker, tossing his apron on the back bar behind him.

     “Well I’m off now, and I’m all yours.” He looked Tucker up and down then laughed. “Though please, try to be convincing. There’s only so much fake swooning I’m willing to do.”

     “Is that a challenge?”

     “I bet 20 you can’t get me actually aroused.”

     “50 says I can.”

     “ _Oh you’re on, asswipe._ ” Ranger stopped, then looked up at him. “Friends?” Tucker paused, then smiled, wrapping his arm around Ranger’s tinier shoulder’s. “Always, Code Yellow.” Ranger smiled softly at that, then bumped their hips together. “Timer starts now, whenever you wanna try to sweep me off my feet.”

     “I’ve already got you hooked, I saw that sincere smile!”

     “Fuck you, that doesn’t count!”

 

     In their bickering, they didn’t notice the surly business man finally take the hint and slink off, without bothering to pay his tab.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter ended up way more... actual writing-y than the rest of them, but i honestly felt like you guys needed to really be involved in the action for this one instead of sort of hearing about it from these idiots.  
> anyway. a break from the drama for now!! the next couple of chapters they're gonna be back on their bullshit  
> but we haven't seen the end of mr. richard a. daxton (the name of the ceo that i've never actually said in the fic but you know it now lol)
> 
> thank you to anyone that's read this it really means a lot to me!!


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